The End is just the Beginning

Wow, the holiday season is in full swing. The year has flown by as quickly as a thunder storm on a summer afternoon.  The rains have come, the thunder has made its echoing booms across the sky and the lightening has illuminated the heavens.  Through it all, the grass of our lives has grown, been mowed, flowers bloomed and now that the leaves are falling to rest upon the ground of our days, it is time to evaluate the end. For me personally, this year has been full of ups and downs, just like anyone else. Victories have come and gone, failures have struck me in the face, and unknowns have had my back at the most unexpected of times. In looking back over this year I've come to consider life, my choices, the outcomes, much like a hot air balloon.

Like a hot air balloon, the design and aesthetics of each is a bit different. Such are our days. The common fact that they all share is in their function. Hot air balloons are designed to do 2 things: Go up, and come down. On the way up, a view is offered that often lifts the spirit, wows the eyes and brings a new perspective. On the way down, either one can grab hold of the experience and treasure it, or one can be depressed and hate the fact that is is over. Our days and decisions are just the same way. Through them, good or bad, we have new perspective, new things to see and take in, and likewise we can treasure the consequence or hate it and let it depress us, bringing us down. What makes a balloon rise is the element of hot air. People are often accused of being full of "hot" air. Good or bad?  I say both. I think the stigma is that a person who boasts too much, is overconfident, one who exaggerates too much, is the type that most will associate with that label. On the other hand, people who are appropriately confident, who push the envelope a bit for positive reasons, and ones who employ their hot air to rise above, are ones who GET it right. Every day can and will not be like Disney. 

No matter how hard we might try to make the day joy filled and happy, that will not always be the end result. There will be days of sorrow and strife and we just have to learn to deal with it in the best way possible. Some times on those less than desirable days, we will encounter Mr. or Ms. Hot Air.  How we discern their intentions and choose to respond is up to us. I've heard people say for years,
"So and So made me mad!!"  

No they didn't.  No one can make you mad or sad or anything. You CHOOSE to be made mad or sad!!  For me, this whole concept of facing the ups and downs of life must be paired hand in hand with your dreams. If you abandon your dreams, then all too often you are left to just muddle through your days, existing......nothing more, nothing less. I'm not saying to jump ship and head off on a trek to the amazon in search of gold simply on a whim, but do not discount your dreams. They are in your head and your heart for a reason. They have not been born and taken up residence there by accident. It may take time and a lot of extra effort to even begin to make your dreams have a relevance in your life. It WILL take some changes in both your attitude and your want to. 

The picture above sums it up well. Dreams Do start inside, they do take courage and effort. Real dreams will include mistakes, many of them. Your character will not only be challenged but it will be forced to grow and adapt, making you stronger. Any dream is achievable in my opinion. The more bizarre or far fetched they are though, will require a ten fold effort at least. As this year is winding down, I am looking within, locating some dreams I have put on a shelf in a box. Will I pursue them all? No.  Are there one or two that are worth pursuing? Yes indeed. My challenge to you is, go into your emotional closet, dust off those boxes, and at least look at those dreams you have stowed away. Consider them, their benefit and their potential and commit to going for the things that lift you up, make you happy, and that change your perspective............much life being aboard a hot air balloon. What goes up must come down, but how you choose to land is all up to you!! 

Nobody REALLY knows

I've got it all together! I know Exactly what to do!      Ever met someone who always says that?  I think we all have. I'm sure at some point in my life, I may have even stated such sentiment. As much as we all want to think that we are totally in charge and know everything about everything, we really don't. Not always.

Always in life we have to live somewhat of a guessing game. So, you went to a job interview and are convinced that you sold yourself perfectly. The job is a shoe in.  Not so fast!  Even the best interviewers and employment experts can and will tell you, even when you are convinced, the one hiring still may not be.  Okay, let's say you are dating and meet someone, connect and things go pretty well. For a lot of people, they automatically assume "this is the one." Or, "this is a sure thing."  Again, not so fast!  Whether you are a girl or a guy, totally figuring out the opposite gender is NEVER going to happen! If it were possible, someone would have made a fortune selling and proving that their way or research tips always get the job done.   Alright, let's say there is a work situation where You are certain that you know the right answer. Perhaps your boss is lacking and his or her decisions aren't going right, in your opinion. You speak up, "What we really need to do is..."  Not so fast!  Granted for those who have been supervisors, in management etcetera,  we have a pretty good feel for the right work ethic, moral situation, and what is needed to keep things running smoothly at the office. Unless you have walked in those exact shoes and in the exact situation as your boss, well, I hate to say it but, you really may NOT know the right answer. It is fine to be confident. It is often encouraged. We need to all remember though, you cannot Google everything and trust it will be the correct answer for every situation.

I have interacted with a LOT of people over the years. I have made what I call, "good gut calls" and "bad gut calls."  What I mean by this is, there are times when you just act on impulse. On occasion those play out just fine. On others, not so much. A good gut call might be, for example, if you are a quarterback and you see the box collapsing around you and the play has been sniffed out. So, you decide to roll out and throw to an open receiver down field. Boom, score!! A bad one might be something like, your friends are all going out to party and you know they are gonna get wild and crazy, BUT you go anyway, knowing that you more than likely will give in.  In my experience, trusting your instincts usually is a safe bet.  Depending on how you were brought up, that instinct may be better or worse than others. I was brought up in a stable home with a good education, plenty of opportunity and a great support network. From all of that I honed an instinct that usually bodes well in most situations. Yes, I have made bad calls instinctively. Who hasn't!

Even in my times of poor judgment, things always work out. Why? Good question. There are several factors that one can have "going " for them. One could be smart friends. Another could be a belief in something bigger than you are, like God or religion. It could also be due to just pure luck.  As you grow older and hopefully wiser, there will be clues around every situation that you encounter. These clues may be totally obvious to you. They may also be hidden in plain sight. There is no sure fire way to learn how to read and understand these clues. It takes time, effort, experience, and sometimes a gamble.

The reason I wanted to write this post is because I know some people right now who are questioning their Know It All.  Questioning their instincts, if you will. To them I say, go with your gut in conjunction with your heart. What you have learned thus far in life, be it good or bad, can help guide you if you are willing to listen. You are a smart cookie, so don't underestimate yourself. If something seems unattainable, it just might be attainable. If something doesn't feel right and you smell a rat instinctively, then you probably need to re-evaluate.  Try to make wise choices but if you slip up and don't, have enough confidence in yourself to bounce right back up on your feet and keep on going!!

Just................

Today's post is short, simple and to the point. Sometimes I think that is what just needs to be. Things that require much thought or introspection can, from time to time, become more of a burden than a benefit. Life has been so incredibly busy for me of late. We have had company come and stay with us, I have been working on outside projects, volunteering my time for good causes and have also faced injury. At times I wonder what is the point? Why try so hard to make life good? As I pondered those very questions, a few simple reminders came to mind. Let me quickly share them with you.

When you are hungry, eat.

When you are tired, push on.

When you dream, dream big.

When you are happy, enjoy it!

And finally, when you are blessed, be thankful.

Yes, simple concepts indeed, yet so many of us ignore them or even forget their importance. As you finish out your week, I hope you take the time to eat, regain your strength, dream amazing dreams, be happy and in doing so you will find yourself blessed.

Social Media?

As with most folks, I am involved in Social Media. I have had Myspace and Facebook and other social sites that I have used over the years, and for the most part, I enjoyed using them. As I have gotten older, I cut back to using just one. I think the main reason is, that I have realized how valuable time actually is. I had to ask myself, "Do I really need 3 social sites and 3 profiles and 3 accounts to keep up with?" My answer was a definite, "no." Initially when social media first hit the scene, I was like everyone else. I wanted to see what the big deal was, be seen and have something to do with my time. Over the years my priorities shifted, my likes and dislikes changed and so did the things around me. Myspace was my first social network of choice.

Back when Myspace first was introduced it was a platform for networking with new people, finding old friends and making posts about average things you were doing. Not like anyone really cared, but it was still cool at the time. After a few years, I began to mess around with HTML and making custom Myspace pages. I got really good at creating these visually awesome pages that my friends would flock to see. In fact, I even had a thing where I would ask my friends to give me a theme challenge. Over night I would come up with one of their theme ideas. I made themes from Star Wars to the Muppets with raining icons, sparkles, sound and so on. It got to where people loved my pages I created so much that they began to ask me to make a custom page for them. For a couple of years I did just that. A few people got wind of it whom I didn't know and offered to PAY me for my services. It was great! I must have had over 100,000 images downloaded on my computer just FOR that purpose of making custom pages. Facebook showed up on the scene. I was not impressed. There was no way of customizing your page and making it unique and full of visual bling. I passed on subscribing to Facebook for that reason, too boring. More time passed and I found a lot of my people were disappearing. At long last, I joined Facebook and to my chagrin, my lost people were there.

I also found that a lot of my lost family members were on Facebook and had been since its inception. I was thrilled and still am to this day that I was able to finally track some of them down and start reconnecting. Growing up, I rarely got to see any of my northern cousins that were on my Dad's side of the family. 20 years went by after Grandma's funeral before I was able to actually see just one of my cousins and meet his wife. Social media has allowed me to reconnect with a lot of my family with whom I have had little contact for years. We have not seen each other in decades but we are a lot closer now thanks to social media. There is a lot of good that can come out of this type of medium and I don't think anyone will disagree with that. There also can be a lot of unnecessary junk associated though too. Breaking it down into pros and cons I would put it like this:

Pros:  Reconnecting with people

          Meeting new people with common interests

          Having that immediate notification from someone who may need something

          The ability to share important things across the country and the world in seconds

           that would otherwise take forever via snail mail or even email.

           Forums and pages available to educate you more readily

           Being able to share links to Youtube and see the videos play within your page.

Cons:  Negative people

           Drama on your page

           Content that you do not  approve of ( granted you can hide that now as an option )

            Spying factor into your personal business by others and entities

These are just a few examples but for me the good outweighs the bad. I have asked a few people in my network, who reads every single post?  I have also been asked, how do you respond to bad news people share? Do you hurriedly just click LIKE or do you take a minute to comment?  With the involving yourself in social media of any kind, there are responsibilities. You are so exposed to people's lives, intimate details, trials, victories and such that you have to gauge how to respond to them all. My general rule of thumb has served me well. If I see a comment or post that reports bad news, or illness, I take a second and post something instead of just clicking the LIKE button. I admit, I do not read every single post that is put on my page. I scan. The ones that look interesting I will look at more intently. The ones that I just want to shake my head over, I either come back to later or just ignore. Does this mean that I am insensitive? I think not. Everyone has to manage his or her time the best way they can. Some folks have the time to sit online all day and makes posts, comments and share funny things. Others do not. 

One truth that we can not ignore is that when time is gone IT IS GONE! You can never get it back. In our modern technological age, via smart phones and tablets we can easily receive and manage our emails, social media, tweets and so on in a matter of minutes or seconds. For that I am grateful. Like anyone else though, I have to keep in check, how much "time" am I taking on keeping up with everything. Time management for some is a lost cause while for others it is something they feed on and excel at. I am in the latter category. Look, I would have to say that I enjoy technology as much as the next guy, but there is something to be said for simplicity too. Take a little time and examine how much of your time could be spent elsewhere and what benefit that could afford you, then make a conscious effort to step back a bit from emails and tweets and commenting if you need to. I promise you that the world will go on just fine without you for a few hours or even a few days. I have a couple of friends who take breaks from social networking and emails for a season. During those times when they walk away from it all, or even some of it, they tend to find renewal. Renewal of mind, clarity, sense of purpose and are able to better focus on what lies ahead. Consider doing this. Like I said, friends may miss your LOL's or OMG's or smileys, but both you and they will survive. 

Thank you for taking some of your valuable time to read this blog post. I wish you well this week and until next time, check out for a few days! I just might do the same. 

Can I Help You?

Wow, what a simple question that packs so much punch! Most people when asked, "Can I help you?" have to think two things. One, do I NEED help, and who are YOU to help me? I've been an avid film watcher for years. In college, my degree was, in part, in film production. I love a good movie. I don't think there is a person alive that does not appreciate a good drama or an innocent love story or just a movie about hope and change. Well, there have been a good number of movies that offer good messages and messages of renewal and hope over the past 20 years. On the flip side though, there have been a great majority of films that denigrate humanity, endorse violence, drug use, and outright are devoid of anything positive. I want to share 3 films with you briefly. My initial question, Can I help you, has ties to each of these movies, but not in obvious ways. Let's look at...................Benny and Joon first off.

The basic irony of the movie is that Joon, who has a mental illness, is not fit to live alone, and doesn't really cope well with change or everyday things outside of her simple routine. Her brother takes care of her, often sheltering her from new things, being very protective of her. Well, through a series of unusual events, Sam enters the picture. Sam is very eccentric. He has been hugely influenced by the likes of Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton. He is out of the box in every way, odd yet very creative and engaging IN his own kind of way.  Over the course of the movie it becomes apparent that both Joon and Sam NEED each other. Although it is never asked, Can I help you, one can see that even without that direct asking, they bring something to the table that the other needs. It is awesome! Joon learns to accept new things, face challenges with Sam's help and he learns to love her AS she is. Okay, movie # 2. Remember the Titans.

I think most everyone with a pulse who enjoys movies knows something about this movie. Basically, a small town, very steeped in racist beliefs and actions, has to hire a new high school football coach. Enter the new coach, an African American man, with great family values and work ethic. He encounters opposition from day one from the other coaches on staff, the school and most of all the players. Throughout the early going in the movie, Coach Herman Boone begins to nip the whole racist element in the bud. From talks to players, opening the door to outside players becoming a part of the team, on down to cutting star players who refuse to accept change, this new coach makes waves, and big ones at that. Soon, all the players, black and white are forced to either accept each other or miss out. As the drills increase, practices get harder and harder, there is a breakthrough. The 2 star players find common ground. From here on out the Titans become cohesive and very successful. Again, it is never asked, Can I help you, but it is oh so obvious that not only Coach Boone can help them, but it is apparent and critical that the players help themselves. If you have not seen this movie, I highly recommend it. On to the third and final movie I would like to talk about. Music and Lyrics.

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I admittedly am a little biased, so I am giving this movie 2 pics! Premise: a washed up former 80's pop music star is struggling to make ends meet and make a come back of any kind. He ends up meeting a younger gal who is a temp flower girl, watering his plants in his apartment. After doing cheesy commercials and openings for nursing homes and car lots etc. Alex Fletcher gets some help, without even knowing it, from Sophie the flower girl. It seems she has an uncanny ability to come up with catchy lyrics that he soon is determined to use as he tries to foster a desire in her to become a lyricist. Series of events take place, they hit roadblocks personally, opportunities come and go for the former singer, but then a big chance presents itself front and center. She doesn't ask, Can I help you, but boy does she! Through coaxing, a collaborative effort produces a new hit for a popular singer in the current market. Sophie and Alex end up falling in love etc. etc.  The reason I wanted to touch on the whole Can I help You vibe in these movies is to make us realize that, even when we are unaware, people around us, those who cross our paths, those with whom we are close and even those whom we have yet to meet, Help us. We are given pushes, glimpses, motivations, inspirations from all kinds of places including each other. In turn, we can do the same for others.  Whether we choose to admit it or not, we all need a little help from time to time. There should be no shame needing help. The wisest men in history became wise in part in knowing when to seek help. What we as people and a society need to learn, is when to offer help and when to accept it. It takes practice in both respects. We won't be "the right kind of helpful" the first time or two out. We won't be "the right kind of accepting" the first time or two we receive help either. As you go about your days, look for opportunity to offer an encouraging word, an idea. As you face struggles or times when you question yourself or your abilities, look around you. I bet the right help is staring you in the face. Don't be so persnickety as to not accept it! Carpe Diem! Seize this day!

Wrong?

Okay guys, it has been a while since I have been able to write a new post. I apologize. Sometimes life throws things at you that simply cannot be avoided or put on the back burner. Today's post will be short and simple but with a powerful message for thought.

How many times have we done things that we were convinced was right and in actuality it might not have been? This could be morally, physically, emotionally or even just acts in our every day world. Recently I came across a video by total happenstance that really hit home with me. I think most of us have heard of Mike Rowe. He has been the host of Dirty Jobs that airs on the Discovery Channel since its inception. The premise, for those who do not know, is that Mr. Rowe goes out in all parts of our country and becomes an apprentice for a day, doing the dirtiest, nastiest, and often most difficult and taxing jobs that there are in any workplace. He was shoveled chicken poop from under breeding houses, crawled into tiny spaces to blast out smut from boilers and furnaces and has even done things way more bizarre in the eye of the average man or woman. I always enjoy watching this program. Not only is the viewer made aware of the types of dirty jobs out there but also it sheds a light on the importance of them in the sustainability of our nation as a whole.

Growing up, my Dad "taught" me the right way to sweep. This was his opinion obviously and he was darn set in it being the best way. I guess being the stubborn kid I was, or perhaps just the fact that I like to think outside of the box, I found another way. I would hold the broom with hands opposite of tradition. For me it made more sense. It is difficult to explain just what that means here, but my point is, in my mind, my Dad was wrong. As I grew into an adult and used brooms a lot over the years, I came to the understanding that neither of us were really wrong. The adage, there is more than one way to skin a cat, applies. With regulations and OSHA and other red tape installments, many things that our ancestors did, and did with great success, now are not permissible. Away from tasks, I think we have all crossed the line when it comes to morally doing something we KNEW was wrong. On the other hand, I also think that we have done things morally that we didn't actually KNOW were wrong until much later in life. We have been a party to and also a victim of emotional wrongs as well. We have slighted people and have been stabbed in the back. Another angle to this is also the fact that so many famous persons have fallen prey to steroid use and abuse for example.. It is wrong, it is cheating and it does not pay off in the end. It also leads to physical, mental and emotional difficulties.

Morally, ethically, and physically, steroid use, even in a legal instance, is questionable. But back to the issue of every day, generic tasks. When we drive our vehicles, we know we shouldn't eat and text and smoke and drink and fard and chat on the cell phone while we are driving, yet we do it anyway. Wrong.....Wrong choices that often results in the right consequence, tragic as it may be. Getting back to Mike Rowe. As I said, I happened across a related video that came up after reading a response he had written to someone who asked of him the way to find your dream job. Excellent article and response by the way. In the video I reference, Mr. Rowe is at a TED conference as a key speaker. I had often thought him to be a very smart, educated, hard working individual. Well, after watching this video, I felt, well, somewhat dumber. His mastery of the English language, his nomenclature, delivery and reasoning blew me away. As a quick synopsis of his talk, he covers how in doing the show Dirty Jobs he didn't really think about the jobs he was asked to do or give much credence to the individuals that do them daily. It was as if he had an epiphany, a clarity of reasoning and thought. I am going to try and insert the link to his video and hope that it works. I encourage you to watch it. Whether you are a white collar, blue collar, or other type of worker, his message will apply to you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRVdiHu1VCc


After watching it twice now, for me it has made me aware of two things. One is that hard work is never a bad thing. and two, that without hard work we as a people often lose track of what is really important. When you can pick up dead carcasses on the roadway and whistle while you do it, that says something. It says you are content in what you are doing. It also says that even if you don't like the job you have, your attitude can most assuredly affect it in a positive way. In closing, watch the video. Watch other videos that Mike Rowe is involved with. He is a breath of fresh air in an often dirty world. We all need a gut check from time to time. Don't be afraid to admit that you may have been wrong or that you are wrong. People far wiser than we, in the grand scope of things, do know a thing or two that we can choose to learn from.

Legend has It, and We believe it

They are out there! This is what our ancestors have told us and what now, our media is trying to convince us is the truth. Werewolves, Vampires, Ghosts, Rougarous, UFO's. Now, I am a sucker for a compelling TV show that makes me think and also leaves me guessing. I think our human nature feeds on that concept. Yet, there are some things that I just have a harder time giving credence to and some of what is mainstream and popular on the tube today kind of makes me say " WHAT??"  Almost every area of the world and every culture of people have their own urban legends that have been passed down through the centuries to the next generation. For me, I was never really told any tales of mystery and woe. Perhaps I had boring ancestors. More realistically, I believe that I had ancestors who didn't just fall for anything.

I don't think there is a living adult in the modern world and age who has not heard of P.T. Barnum. His claim to fame was the Barnum and Bailey Circus. He was hugely successful and left a money making empire to his credit. One key thing that Barnum knew and is famous for quoting is this, "a sucker is born every minute."  Wise wise words. He made a handsome living playing to the insatiable hunger of the every day person, by giving them what they wanted, or what they didn't KNOW they wanted. He created and mainstreamed things like the bearded lady, the fire man, the pygmy goat man and so on. As a people who could typically fall for a good sales pitch, this worked and worked well. Today in the television entertainment business this same business model is well at work. Here is the kicker. Just what actually could be legit is getting a bit harder to sniff out. Without getting into politics or religion, I do have my opinions on most of these characterizations that we as a people are consuming with such fury. Let's start with aliens.

On the show Ancient Aliens, everything that comes up in the world, these guys make out to be "from" aliens. There is debate from time to time with those who are believers in the Bible and it makes for some interesting content. This show has become so popular partly in fact that it generally ties into the mysteries of Roswell and what our government is covering up. Hmm, good play. Next we have shows on the History channel that are quite intriguing. One of the newest ones that I actually watched a few episodes of, is Cryptid: The Swamp Beast. This show is based largely on the things in the swamp that are killing animals, beheading people, mauling things into unrecognizable pieces. A common theme of the show is the reference to the French Louisiana legend of the Rougarou. The Rougarou is said to be a huge 9 ft tall man, wolf headed creature that stalks certain people and things. "If he gets a whiff of you, there is no escaping, you are dead!" He supposedly lives under the water during the day and roams the swamp at night. He is also said to be a shape shifter and can take any form he wants, including taking over a person's body. Interesting.

To me it is nothing but a spin on the wolf man or werewolf found in London and Europe. To the locals in Louisiana though, it IS part of life in a big way. I found this show to be compellingly done. It kind of started slow but then amped up and got more into the legend and sightings. While I was watching this particular show and advertisement came of for another new show debuting soon called Mountain Monsters.

This one I think is similar to many of the others in that it covers things like Bigfoot, the Rougarous, Skunk Ape, Loch Ness Monster and so on. What is interesting to me about all of these new shows that are popping up like weeds in our garden is that they are banking on folk lore. Again, the media is digging back into history to reinvent what they think will now work with a new audience. Sadly, film makers have been doing this for years!! How many times can you remake Spiderman, Superman, The Hulk!! I think that basically our entertainment industry is out of ideas. There is a saying that goes, "everything old will become new again." Wow, how apropos.   Even with all the technology available, it seems like the human mind is in a state of stagnancy. I know there will always be those who will suck up and devour anything the entertainment media throws at them and I guess that is okay. I would rather see investment be made in things that matter or are less violent and gruesome. Let's have more of Jim Henson. More Muppets is never a bad thing. I am thrilled to see another Muppet film released right now. Those are whimsical, larger than life and totally not real, but they leave you smiling and happy, not wanting to hide away in your house or grab something and go on a rampage. As a guy whose college degree was partly in Film Production, I know it is ultimately all about the the almighty dollar. Money does pay bills and afford us a better way of living. At what cost though?  If you look at legends like Loch Ness, he seems to be harmless, self sufficient, doesn't prey on anyone and just exists calmly and serenely. That is a legend I can accept.

I realize that people are not going to flock to theaters to see a movie about a docile lake creature that doesn't capsize boats and eat the crew. I can still wish for a society to re-emerge that embraces a more civil and healthy attitude though. So many programs today are about the end of times, zombies, invasions etc. If that is your cup of tea, go for it. Tune in, watch them, talk about them, fantasize about being part of them but please, please, do not get so wrapped up in that world that you lose track of reality. Many individuals will consume such media and then over time will snap. I am not against guns in the hands of responsible persons, including those in the everyday world; however, when persons start to think that everyone else is a zombie or that swamp creatures do exist and they are consumed with ridding the world of these things, that is when a serious problem is birthed. Our media needs to be more responsible. Sadly, I know in my heart and soul that the days of The Waltons, Leave it to Beaver, Happy Days and Back to the Future are over and will never return. That era, especially in America, was a much safer, grander time when men and women could laugh, help one another and do so genuinely. Granted there are still those types of people out there amid all this over the top content. I am one of them. Even wrestling back in the day was not chock full of lingerie matches and simulated sex acts like it is today. Shock value has taken over basic value- the value of human life, of morals, of ethics of common sense. Sorry producers, but there is no need to fuel people's imagination. We are plenty capable enough on our own to do that. I guess this has been more of a soap box than I intended. If that offends you, I apologize. If you are one that likes the way things currently are, then that is all you. For this old, basic kinda guy, I am not so convinced. Enjoy what you choose to enjoy, but do keep in check your mindset and what really matters. Each other. As Jerry Springer always says, " Take care of yourself, and each other."

What Life has Taught

Life is an inevitable fact for everyone drawing breath. There is no way to avoid it once you exit the birth canal and there is no way to avoid the impact it has on you OR the impact you have on life itself. When I sit and ponder a moment about life, my life, I can't help but think of some things that have molded me, changed me and have left me a better person. I want to share with you just a few basic things that Life has taught in the hopes that you might agree or might feel inspired to search out the same thoughts in your own life.

Throughout our lifetime, no matter its length, we all encounter happiness, sadness, joy, pain, laughter, choices, consequences, victory and defeat. How we handle or deal with each of these things is subject to our own interpretation or simply to how we were taught to perceive them. Thinking about different parts of my life that span different eras, time frames and decades, a few things come to mind that I feel are worth mentioning. One can break down life experiences and perceptions into a few, point blank categories.

Simpilicty:

There are times that you just need it simple. Times when a generic ON/OFF button will suffice and is preferred. Times when doing less means more. Times when not knowing the answers is the best. Times when a child can teach you something magical and important. Times when you need to act like a child.

Convenience:

When you live in close proximity to family or anyone else in your household or time is of the essence, there are certain convenient items that make a huge difference in the day to day. Microwaves. Microwaves are great! Sure, taking time to actually cook on the stove or in the oven may lend itself to a better, healthier meal, but man, having food ready to eat in minutes verses hours is priceless. When you have a hungry family or room mates, speedy food preparation can be a big benefit. Coffee pots. Again, boiling water on the stove the old school way will always work, but being able to put in a couple scoops, pour in some water, hit start and have coffee "come forth" as you shower, shave or do other tasks is great. What about things that help keep peace in your house hold? Padded toilet seats. Yep, that's what I said. When you have a light sleeper in the house and your bathroom that you use is close to that person trying to sleep, I don't care who you are, the act of putting a toilet lid up or down without a sound is not as easy task. If you are half asleep, this task is even more difficult. Padded seat and lid, problem solved! Doors. I am not a big fan of doors. I am not shy in the least and feel that if you are family or are close enough to share everything else, that doors can sometimes prove to be more of a barrier than not. Yes, privacy at certain times IS an issue, but then again, that is easily solved by opening your mouth and just telling the other person, "hey, give me a minute."  Doors do help though to keep your roomies dog out of your stuff and also allow a way for a teenager to pout in peace.

Stupidity:

We have ALL done stupid things. For me, I think I was most stupid when I was a teenager. There are things that I did that should have gotten me killed, jailed or grounded until yesterday. Building a ramp on top of the house roof so you can jump your bike off of it into the pool, not smart but stupid. Street racing at top speed chasing a girl in a Porsche wearing a bikini, not smart, but stupid. Swimming beside a huge cruise ship in the Panama Canal when the draft of the ship could pull you wiskfully into the propellers, not smart but stupid. Jumping on the back of a sleeping bull in the middle of a field just to see what happens, not smart but stupid. Okay, Mom, deep breath!! I survived and learned my lesson as it were! Other things that rank at stupid might have been choices in relationships, ones that you knew might end up hurting you or others but you dove head long into them anyway, yea not smart but stupid. Even though I willfully did some stupid things, these choices and experiences helped me learn the do's and do nots, molded me into a much smarter adult and in some strange ways, kept me out of trouble.

Employment:

Sometimes we do not really get to choose what type of work we do. There are times when we apply for certain jobs we like or dream of and they just don't come to fruition. For me, I will never forget my first job. I was 15 and a brand new Hardee's was being built close to home in Bartlett, Tennessee. Like any teen, I wanted to make some mad money. I went down, applied, was hired on the spot and spent the next 2 1/2 years working nearly full time. I remember within my first 6 months there that my Manager, Mark Guinn, offered me the Assistant Manager position. The pay was great and even came with a company car, a VW Golf. To do this job though I would have had to drop out of high school and commit to crazy hours and either put on the back burner all the things I loved or would have had to totally abandon them. I opted not to take that position because my love of music and being in show choirs and ensembles and competitions all were leading me to a career hopefully in music and I loved them all. Music was my saving grace, what I was best at and something that to me was sacred. During college I worked doing maintenance at one of the biggest churches in our area in Florida. Did that 3 years. From there situations came about that were beyond my control and my job choices became very limited. I lost the ability to speak at all for over 5 years and during that time there was no way to utilize my college degree in Tv/Film Production. So, manual labor became the only option. Over the years I went through different types of employ mostly due to health limitations. I don't regret any of them. Each one, though vastly different, really developed me as a person. One benefit of doing manual labor in construction and maintenance was that I never really had to go to the gym. I was strong as an ox, fit, had very developed muscles and a lot of people I knew envied that. The down side was that my body was being destroyed joint by joint, tendon by tendon. I am now on disability and have been for a number of years due to my Tourettes, Tardive Dyskinesia and Fibromyalgia. I would have loved to be at one job for my entire career and been able to retire with a great pension and all of those perks, but that was not the course laid out for me. It's all good. I am where I am meant to be and for that I am grateful.

Activities:

At whatever any age as we grow up and meander through life, we have a choice of activities we involve ourselves in. For me, it was mostly music, camping, rock climbing, spelunking, sky diving, snorkeling, biking, hiking, horses, motorcycles, wood working, crafting, mechanicing, and many other activities. Here again, some part of these choices involved stupid again, but in a different way. Maybe it was in the fact that I really couldn't afford to go out and buy new camping gear. Or maybe it was that camping in the middle of nowhere with just a sleeping bag and no tent was not that bright when there were wild boars and panthers known to be in the area. These are just two examples. Our activities in a way do define us. Each person likes different things. To each his own. When I was a kid, my parents bought me a go cart. I drove the wheels off of that thing all over the neighborhood. Of course, back then it was permissible and no big deal. I would rig up a wagon train of literal red flyer wagons, about 6 of them hooked together and take all my buddies for jaunts around the neighborhood. It was awesome! Now a days, the majority of my activities involve helping other people, offering encouragement, a listening ear, writing this blog, writing music, shooting, and most importantly spending quality time with my family.

You know, there are endless quotes from famous persons in history about Life. I think some of these quotes are just gems and embody so much truth. There are quotes also that we ourselves can come up with that are unique just to us that have just as much merit as those that are famous. I am amused by the fact that certain celebrities have made quotes about life, living, coping and other things that they really don't have any more idea about than we do. I find it awkward that people like Madonna have published children's books. Life is, as I already mentioned, unavoidable. We can choose to go through our life with our head in the sand, or locked in a room or fully submersed in it with a gung ho attitude. When we are documenting our life, it is vital to realize that we ARE documenting our life whether we know it or not. Some people purposely leave their mark and experiences through the medium of writing. Others do it through the display of tattoos that visibly show stories and events that person has been through. Others still, simply document their life in their internal memories. I think one of the best ways to document life as a whole or even your life is with the use of photographs. I know the actual act of inserting film rolls, getting them developed, cropping them and storing them in albums is a waning idea, but thanks to digital media and the invent and development of digital cameras, even that is a viable option these days. We take a lot of photos. For us the convenience of having that immediate visible memory is priceless. As we all age, I will say, I truly feel it is important to find some way of capturing your life. The activities we choose, our employment history, the conveniences we enjoy, the stupidity we endure and the simplistic things we embrace all will leave an indelible mark on our world and those who follow behind us.  No matter what you do or how you choose to do it, just remember that our LIFE is visible to others, now and in the future. It is okay to have remnants of bad choices, poor decisions. It is also okay to have remnants of our successes and victories after trials. To wrap this up, don't sit on the sidelines. Be actively involved in your life. I think this saying below sums it up perfectly.

As you move forward, remembering your past and all of its good and bad, don't forget to follow your heart, but take your brain with you! Carpe Diem!! Seize this day!

Your Spring has Sprung

It is that time of year when people, animals and nature in general, begin to celebrate. Warmth, fairer days, and new life that has been waiting in the wings, can now step out into the light. Spring. It is officially here! For so many around our country, this winter was among the roughest and most severe on record. Temps in negative digits in areas that rarely see the teens, blizzard after blizzard ransacking the mid west plains and Atlantic seaboard, and snow and ice storms in Florida, tested the last nerve of us all it seemed. So, now on the calendar, winter should be over and we are now out of the woods and on to greener pastures. Not so fast! Spring brings a lot of wonderful things, no doubt. But, are all of them good? Are all of them needed? I would say "yes" to both of those questions and here is why.

After such a daunting season of winter, emotionally and physically we may feel a bit broken. Our spring inside that helps us bound over and through things may have sustained damage or even reached its breaking point. Times of intense effort physically, we all know can break us, literally. They can slow us to a crawl or even to a complete grinding halt. For me, the coldness of the past few months here in Florida did not bode well with my body. I've ached and hurt more than I have in years simply due to the drastic temperature swings we endured.  But we go on, we adjust and we take the measures needed to survive, physically. The other side of an unusual season is our emotional side. Depression can more easily find its way through the cracks and crevices. It can worm its way in through our armor that we think is pretty invincible and eat away at us like a corpse. This is a sad and devastating state to be in. There is no quick cure, no "swallow this" and it will all go away. One of the best ways to stave off a depressed mindset is to DO something. Find something to occupy your mind. I'm not saying go immerse yourself in a crowd of people that will make you retreat deeper into your depression, but do immerse yourself in something positive.

Okay, in this season of the year there are things like March Madness happening that bring a dramatic close to a great NCAA basketball season. There is also the beginning of spring training in both football and baseball which signifies the start of perhaps something great. There is new growth on the trees, grass popping up everywhere and the birds and bees are busy with their families raising their new offspring. There is reason to renew or even find that "SPRING" in your step once again. If you make the choice to go for a walk, feel the light airy breezes, smell the roses as it were, watch a ballgame or just sit in a park and people watch, a healing from deep within can occur. And it is good. Yes, it has been tough. Yes, things like the weather, the economy, relationships could have been better. Now, you can get that fresh start. Now, you can shake off the unwanted things that are dragging you down. Now, you can set your feet on a path to not just better days, but perhaps even the best days you have yet to see.

We all have to experience that dark to better appreciate the light. What I want for each of you reading this blog, is for you to experience new growth, happiness and an outlook that tickles you within. You might need to make some changes, changes in friends, things you do, or maybe even big changes like location or who you choose to be with. If people and situations are not feeding you, and feeding you healthy stuff, then they need to go. We can be fed all the time by things that surround us. Is it good to live on a "pizza" diet 24/7 in actuality or in our emotional menu? Not at all. Just like too much red meat, too much candy, too much of anything can do more harm than good, everything we ingest in life needs to equate to a good balance.

If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall.  ~Nadine Stair

The seasons are what a symphony ought to be:  four perfect movements in harmony with each other.  ~Arthur Rubenstein

The year's at the spring
And day's at the morn;
Morning's at seven;
The hillside's dew-pearled;
The lark's on the wing;
The snail's on the thorn;
God's in His heaven -
All's right with the world!
~Robert Browning


All is right with the world. Wouldn't that be amazing! That day may never come, but in the mean time while we still hope for that day, let's find a way to heal our self, plant seed that comes forth in plenty, and take care of who we are, who we are meant to be.

Should you be in the quagmire of depression, even just a little, here are a few things that you can do to get back on track:

Recognize your own destructive critical self attacks

To begin this process, think of these thoughts as being like the parasites that keep you in bed when you're sick with the flu. Don't listen to these attacks when they tell you not to pursue your goals, to isolate yourself, or to forego and activity you enjoy. This gives the voice even more power over you. Instead, when you notice these thoughts and attitudes starting to intensify, and take precedence over your more realistic, positive ways of thinking, it is essential to identify them as and alien point of view. 

Don't isolate yourself

When depressed, you may hear thoughts telling you to be alone, keep quiet and not to bother people with your problems. When you feel bad, even if you feel embarrassed, confiding in a friend or voicing your struggles can lighten your burden and begin a process of ending your unhappiness. Go to a place where there are people who may have similar interests as you, or even to a public spot like a museum, park or mall, where you could enjoy being amongst people. Never allow yourself to indulge in the thought that you are different from or less than anyone else. Everyone struggles at times, and your depression does not define who you are or single you out from others. 

Don't punish yourself for feeling bad

Feeling embarrassed or self-hating over your depression will only increase your symptoms and discourage you from seeking help. Your critical thoughts toward yourself will try to keep you down any way they can, including attacking you for feeling down. It's important to take your side and have compassion for yourself at these difficult times. You can be curious, open, accepting, and loving toward yourself, a much more appropriate attitude.

( To view this article in its entirety please cut and paste this link into your browser:  http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/compassion-matters/201110/eight-ways-actively-fight-depression)

We are created with a spring in our step. Even if our spring is broken, it can be fixed. It can be new again. As the weather outside continues to evolve in warmer, sunnier days, I do hope that the forecast within is also as magical. Welcome, Spring! We are SO glad you are back.

The Fort and the Lighthouse

Well, this week my son is out of school for Spring Break. With the small amount of hours a day kids actually spend in school now, I often wonder, " a break from what?" But, they do deserve some time off once in a while. Anyway, speaking of the word break, yesterday I took Wesley to experience and see something that has yet to really break. We went to one of our local 1800's era forts. On the Naval base here is located Fort Barrancas. This is a mid 1800's era fort that is mostly underground and boasts passageways, barricaded rooms, bars and hidden places.

I was so excited to share this with Wesley but when we arrived at the visitor center the sign on the door said that the fort was now only open on Saturdays. Naturally we were both bummed. Around the grounds there at the fort are some nature trails though. We opted to hike a 1/2 mile loop and see what was out there. It was great. Massive live oaks, birds of all types flitting about and other things unique to the area abound. After we did the loop, Wesley was all hyped up and anxious to do more! Across the road about 1/2 mile is the site of another part of the fort system called Absolute Redoubt. What that means, I really don't know, but none the less, we headed that direction to go and explore. What an awesome playground for a boy's body and mind.

 To fathom that these structures that were made so many decades ago have endured floods, hurricanes, attacks from cannon fire and mortars and still stand nearly complete blows me away. Wesley was almost speechless as he bounded along tempting fate with every jump and leap. This area is under lock and key 95% of the time and only open for tours once a week at a specific time. As frustrating as that was, we made a concerted effort anyway to find a way in. Every door was locked and secured and that is a good thing. Wesley and I are both pretty adventurous and more than likely would have explored every inch inside the place would it have been possible.

As we roamed about we peered into the tiny openings in the walls, looking into near darkness hoping to see something of what lies hidden behind those walls. We walked in the overgrown trenches, climbed down into the many levels of the fort and even took time for cool photo ops. The weather yesterday was advertised by the local weatherman to be sunny and a warm 70 degrees. Boy did they blow that forecast! It was 45 degrees and windy with cloud cover. I am so glad that there were jackets for the both of us in the truck. Maybe that is a benefit to keeping some things IN the truck all the time, like fishing gear, blankets, some tools and apparently extra clothing. As the day began to warm and the sun started to peek out from behind the clouds, my boy and I kept marching along not missing a single window or hole to examine. In the middle of this fort is a much taller, double story section that is very grand in its appearance. I'm sure there had to be a way to get on top of it but we were not lucky enough to figure that out. As you traverse around the fort, on the west side is a huge drawbridge and wooden door. This thing is amazing not only to look at but in an engineering way as well. This entrance seems to be the only way into the large middle structure. I guess the tours once a week may allow you access to this area. Hopefully we can go soon and enjoy that tour.

Wesley had no fear all morning. He romped around, running through the tall weeds and grass while jumping over trenches and the like but, there was something about this huge doorway that he just didn't feel comfortable with. Maybe it was the sheer size of it or maybe it reminded him of the tales of dragons and drawbridges and moats. I'm glad though that I was able to get him to cooperate for this great photo.

There are a number of haunted places here in this part of Florida. Fort Pickens is one and so is Fort Barrancas and the Pensacola Lighthouse. I am not a big believer in ghosts in general but I won't discount it totally either. As we were walking back around the fort headed towards the parking lot, curiosity got the better of me and I decided to put my arm in one of the slits in the brick walls and snap a picture with my cell phone, just to hopefully see what was there in the darkness. The first shot I took came out okay but it just showed a large empty room with an unusual round swing out door. I took another immediately afterwards, reaching in a few inches further. In this second photo we caught what we are convinced is a ghost in this picture! Yep, when you look at it, nothing else makes real sense. Haunted? This has my curiosity up now for sure. The white floating mass that looks like smoke we think is a ghost. What do you think??

Excited and a bit tired from our exploring, we decided to go on yet another mini adventure and go tour the haunted lighthouse on base. This is one of the oldest lighthouses in the U.S. I believe and has been listed among some of the most haunted places in America. In fact, Ghost Hunters (TAPS) did a show and investigation here a few years back. The history of the Pensacola Lighthouse is very interesting. I won't go into all of that here, but you can search it on Google and read up on its history and current status.

Inside the Keeper's Home are museum pieces that tell about the lighthouse and display many original artifacts from the original time frame when it was built and functioning. There are several different floors that make up the quarters, from the dry goods cellar to the actual Keeper's rooms up to the upper floors which are now offices. When you get to the actual lighthouse area you immediately see a somewhat dark and eerie tower with an old ornate iron stairway that spirals up 177 steps to the top. If you take your time and stop to look out the several windows on the way up, the climb is not that taxing. Once at the top, the view is simply amazing. On a clear day, visibility is close to 13 miles.  My little man had been terrified of heights, even sitting on my shoulders just 2 years ago, so to see him fearlessly at the edge of the platform gazing down made me grin. As you look in different directions you can look out over the beach area and see Fort Pickens, the sister fort, and then to the North you overlook for flight line for the famous Blue Angels and beyond. It is amazing.

To end our outing for the day, we walked out to the beach that fronts the pass from the Pensacola bay. Wow! Although there aren't the waves like the real beach on the Gulf of Mexico boasts, it still is beautiful. We lingered a bit and then headed back toward town to meet the Grandma's for lunch. I am so happy to have been able to share yet another unique experience with my boy. There is so much to see and do almost anywhere you call home. It just takes a little creativity in some places, to find what is unique and enjoy it. Who knows what the rest of Spring break will bring, but I am ready and excited to see it unfold!