Friday, April 22, 2016

I'm a "has been?"

For those who know me and are familiar with my story, please bear with me. For those who do NOT know my story, put your seat belt on! I've got a word for you!

The title of the is post may seem a bit confusing at first. Has been? I'm sure we all are pretty familiar with that terminology and what it connotes. Someone or something that has seen better days, has been forgotten, has been kicked to the curb, washed up and no longer relevant. Sound about right? Well, let me explain myself. In the right context, has been makes total sense. Here are some examples:

My life HAS been hard.
The goal I had for my life HAS been taken away.
My career HAS been better.
What I thought I knew, HAS been challenged.

Getting the idea?

Okay. My posts are generally not geared specifically to religious topics or are they primarily God centered. This post, however, will be. If that offends you, GOOD! Perhaps a nerve needs to be struck in your heart and mind and this could be the medium for that to be accomplished.


Reading over this graphic above can illicit many thoughts. The truth of it though is that Yes, we do all face trials. Yes, we do all experience change. How you handle those trials and the changes is the key. I grew up, since age 10 or so, having to deal with and face the challenges of Tourette's Syndrome. For those unfamiliar with what that is, in a nut shell, it is a neurological disorder in which key chemicals are missing in the brain that arrest motor and nerve signals. In lay terms, parts of my body tend to do what they want, when they want and my brain cannot stop it. For most folks, if you want to blink your eye, you think it and in milliseconds your brain translates that into the action of blinking. If you want to stop blinking, the same applies. For Tourette's persons, eyes can twitch on their own, vocal noises can spew forth, muscles can move and twitch at will. For me growing up, I was mildly affected. At the age of 18, a senior in high school, things made a downturn. Within a matter of 2 weeks time, my neck became paralyzed, drawn fully back and to the right. I looked like a statue cast in stone but in a contorted, awkward way. For the next 2 1/2 years, my life was a living hell. The pain was nearly unbearable. My doctors were totally stumped. I was taken to every specialist in the country with no help in sight. Short version, I was treated with experimental injections of Botox in my neck muscles. Withing 2 days, I was loose as a rubber chicken. Within 6 months my neck would once again draw up to a paralyzed state. 2 1/2 years I endured the 8 inch needles being inserted deep into my tissue. God knew the entire time, exactly what he was doing. He had a plan for me. I will give you the background in another post down the line about why I feel He allowed this to happen. It is a testament to my ignorance and my abandoning God. That is your teaser for now. 


God,in His grace and mercy, took this pain and hardship away from me, in time. Thankful beyond words. Not 3 years later, I would face yet another even more life altering dilemma. In my final 6 weeks of my bachelor's degree program, my voice disappeared. I had always been a very outspoken, outgoing guy who used his voice to sing, talk, teach, and converse. Not anymore. There was nothing more detrimental to me emotionally than to not be able to do something as simple as ordering a hamburger at the drive thru. For nearly 6 years, this plagued me. As I shared with a dear brother last night, God had to put me flat on my back so that when I opened my eyes I was looking Up, at my Creator.  He was my Savior, but he was not my Lord. Before you throw me under the bus for wording it that way, hear me out. Every person will bow one day and proclaim Jesus as Lord, saved or lost. In my instance I want to clarify, that I was not Making God the Lord over my life. I was running from Him. Even though he has brought me thru my neck trauma, and I said I was grateful, I still did not "get"it.  During those 6 years, I was taught some very valuable, life changing lessons. I learned to accept people that God put in my path, no matter their age, their disability, their background or their status. Again, that is the topic for a whole other post. Through endless time on my knees, on my face, pleading with God, truly finding Him again, He restored my voice. 

For the sake of some brevity, I'll jump ahead a bit. Since that time in my early 20 to mid 20's, life had not gotten any easier. I have developed Tardive Dyskinesia, (another neurological disorder), fibromyalgia, median nerve damage, carpal tunnel and severe arthritis in my back. Did and has God been able to use me all these years since my voice was restored, absolutely. BUT, the goal I had for my life had to change. The plan I had for my life had to change. The attitude of my ambition, my drive, had to change. Your past is kind of like your backside. It is meant to stay behind you. Is it relevant and necessary, of course it is! But should you try to keep placing it in front of you, absolutely not! 

Throughout the years I have been blessed with the opportunities to use my god given gifts and talents in singing, playing music, writing music, running sound equipment, teaching youth, adults at church. He has opened doors for me that have gone far beyond my understanding. A few of those doors I will admit, I walked through only to later, run back out of. Yet, as part of God's ultimate, divine plan for my life, he has used those times of doubt and denial. 



The point I want to make very clear in this post today is this. We all need God. We need him in our lives, our spirit and we all need his gift of Salvation. Once you can admit that, come to him humbly, lay aside the YOU, and seek JUST Him, ask him to come into your heart, forgive you of your sins and make you whole and righteous in His sight, the doors of opportunity and blessing will then be accessible to you. People often ask, "why does God let bad things happen to people?" Well, there are many possible answers to that question. From personal experience, I can tell you My answer. He let's things happen to you to expose your vulnerabilities, to show you your need for Him. In the Bible, many men faced incredibly horrible things. Paul, in addition to spending much of his life being imprisoned, he also had a "thorn" in his side to daily contend with. We do not know what that thorn was, but we do know it was HUGE for him. He had to daily lay it all down and wholly seek God to get through it. Job is another example. Read the story of Job. What God allowed Satan to put him through will blow your mind. All the while though, God has Job's back. He had his heart. 

What I want to leave you with is this one thought or concept to mull over. We were created to be most excellent. God is a god of prosperity. That goes far beyond a monetary prosperity. It extends to your health, your legacy, your abilities, your journey. God did not create you to sit idly by and let the world pass you by. He made you to be vibrant, alive in Him, making a difference, and to do so in the face of ANY obstacle or adversity. You may not see that. You may never have seen that be true for you. It is not the truth because I have lived it and experienced it. It is truth because the Word of God declares it so! My challenge to you this very day is to choose to dive into the Word. Choose to become intimate with God. Choose to let him break you and tear down the barriers and walls build around you and your life. We all have a story to tell. Bull Bramlett, the famous football player and brawler has an incredible story! YOURS is just as amazing. I pray that you seek God and allow him to turn your story into one that can be used to encourage others, to inspire others and to draw you close to Him. We are not guaranteed our next breath. The deaths of famous folks just this week, once again prove that. We are on borrowed time and we are also Not of this world. You are called out. You are made for a higher calling and for such a time as this. Be bold, Live boldy in Christ. If you cannot claim Jesus as your Father, and you need help figuring that out, or prayer about anything, please contact me. I am not an expert by any means. I don't know all the answers. But,as my dear friend Frankie says, I Do know the author of THE BOOK.  

I thank you for taking the time to read this lengthy post. Richest blessing to you this week as you choose to be a difference maker in this wicked old world we live in.