Behind the Shower Curtain

The movie "Psycho" probably just popped in your head.  Lol. I totally get that. But, this post has nothing to do with serial killers or people hiding in our showers. Sorry to disappoint. Sometimes, just for fun or out of sheer boredom, I search the internet for unusual things. Did you know that there are decals for your toilet seat that have things like spiders, monsters and snakes on them?? Yea, at first glance it looks like these "things" are right there or are coming out of the toilet bowl to get you! Other things that I have found by happenstance are bed sheets and linens that look like packing crates or have supermodel bodies on them minus the head.  Odd. For me, individuality is an awesome thing. The freedom to be creative and stand out in your own way is priceless. I know people whose home is their show place. It is like the Louvre or the Taj Mahal. I have seen people that so elegantly decorate that even their bathrooms are like works of art.

On the other hand, I know people who use their spaces as a comfort, an extension of who they really are. This is more the type of person that I am. A bit of whimsy, eclectic style and diversity speaks volumes in our house and in our life. I am the type of person that even if money was no object, I could not and would not spend $300 dollars for a bath towel or a shower curtain rod. Sure, you want things to be nice and functional, who doesn't? But excessive? Yea, not my style. Growing up in the 80's there were few choices as far as bathroom or even kitchen things went. You had the basic hand towels, the general soap dishes, the usual pot holders etc. These days though, if you can imagine it, it is probably out there.  Have you seen the social media bathroom decor?? Or the texting code shower curtains? These things are great!! I think too often, we get caught up in the "if it's on a tv show" or "a celebrity has this" then I have to have it too. Why be cookie cutter or totally predictable? Why keep up with the Jones'?  Be an individual!! 

Now this is refreshing. If you cannot enjoy what you have then why have it. It would be like having mannequins all around your house sporting the latest high end fashions. If you have such a need to show off in that way then perhaps you might have a deeper issue to look at. Just sayin'.  I see posts that friends share on Facebook about these magnificent homes, gardens, cars and other things and they comment "OMG, I would totally die for this!"  I see other friends, who are like me, who post a simple log cabin off the grid somewhere, a simple hanging food plot or a classic old school truck. Nothing fancy. Ahhh, those are the posts I really relate to. I know what you are saying. I have a problem with affluent people. Not at all. I have many friends and family members who are very well off. They honestly enjoy the fine things life has to offer. I could not be happier for them. If that is the way they choose to spend their monies and those things tickle their pickle, fantastic!! Give me a cabin in the woods, with my family, my dog and fresh air and to me that is beyond priceless. The whole beauty of diversity between people is just that. Diversity.....the ability and right to choose as you see fit. Epic. There is no doubt that the things people choose, from the cars they drive to the homes they live in all speak volumes as to the character of the heart. I love technology but at the same time I also love the old adage, Keep It Simple Stupid.  

Maybe I am a dying breed. Who knows. But if that is the case, I embrace my ever increasing rarity with open arms. What I hope we all take from this simple post today is to not be afraid to express yourself. I am not saying go out streaking through the downtown main street, but rather to let some of YOU show through in all that you do. Don't be confined to what others say you should be like or what you should do. There are few musts in our world and most of those are based on legality or religious choices. Both are valid in the proper context. Be expressive, be creative and this will help you to be happy. You can be the richest person on the planet and be miserable. Those who are the richest, are the ones richest is spirit. Let people see what is behind your shower curtain once in a while. We can be respectful of others, our parents and family members and still do this. I am living proof of this concept. We don't need to go off though and be ridiculous like Mike Tyson and tattoo our face or dress like KISS all day though either. There should be a healthy balance in our expressiveness. Over in Europe there is a much more free societal outlook on things. For example, the sight of a bare breasted woman feeding her baby is no big deal. Cultural morays are widely different there than here on our shores. I am not saying that one trumps the other but  it is perhaps more what you are accustomed to. In Germany, graffiti is seen more as art while here it is more of a thug, gang iconic perception. It is curious to me that the same thing only differentiated by geographic location has such different meaning. In the tribal areas of South America the way people interact is questionably different as well. We have some limitations here in America that forbid certain types of creativity. That is not all bad. At the same time, however, it is not all good. What is good for the goose is not always good for the gander, as the saying goes. By using some moral compass and ethical discernment, no matter your location, you can find your sense of diversity. Having shock value or purposely offending someone is not my cup of tea, but embracing what is within us, our God given uniqueness is great. As I said, I like technology. My mom on the other hand likes it simple. An off and on button and she is happy. I respect that. Anyway, just remember in your pursuit of individuality that the bare bones of who we are can be priceless!!

The Fish and the Farm

Over past couple of weeks we have all been through some sort of sickness or health issues. When you are down and out with a cold, stomach virus or even a bad back, you tend to be stuck inside way more than you might would like. I know that is true for me. When the sun is out, I want to be out. When the rain is falling I want to be out, under some cover like on the porch, but out none the less. When the birds are chirping and squirrels are scurrying about, yep, I want to be out there. Throughout the course of human history there were times when man as a species had no choice but to BE outside. I do value the indoors and what it affords, don't get me wrong, yet it is the caveman in my nature that would rather be without walls. 

The past week and a half I have been able to get out and do some outdoor things. We had company in town, so of course with any growing boy, we all piled up and took him to the local park. The kids swinging, and the pelicans and seagulls flying overhead while the ducks were swimming in the nearby river, were a nice and welcomed treat. We enjoyed this time in nature a lot as a family. In the days to follow, company was off to their own place far from us out of state, and I was able to enjoy some nature time with my son. We went fishing. Yep, that's what boys and dads are supposed to do, right? Bless his heart, but my son has no patience for fishing. I guess in this fast paced world of kid things, like video games, electronics, electric scooters and the like, there is little time for kids to actually learn patience, let alone enjoy it. I have been working with him the past couple of years on patience. We are making progress. Now there is one more component that fishing involves that my son has a problem with. Worms!!! I was shocked too! He is a boy for goodness sake and should be eating worms, stuffing them in his pockets and throwing them at girls! Not my boy. Seeing them is fine, but get them any closer than 3 feet from him and his little growing feet start to running. It would be funnier, I guess, if I wasn't the one trying to GET him to actually fish.  

Neither of us caught any fish and never really had our lines in the water long enough to try. We ended up having more of a Dad/Son conversation than actually fishing and to be honest, I am glad. There will be many more years ahead to conquer fish phobias and catch fish. Open lines of communication? Now that is something to be proud of. 

On Tuesday, an opportunity came about to help a friend with some work on her farm. The task at hand was to deconstruct some cages that were not meant to be taken apart and rework them into more functional pens. I worked like a dog, smelled like a pack mule by midday but only got a portion of the cages apart. I tell my son all of the time to not get distracted from his task he is working on. I realize now that I may need to learn that lesson more myself. Being an animal love at heart, my excuse was that I had to socialize and therapeutically spend time with all of the critters at the farm.  Of all the different animals on this little farm, the rabbits, pig, chickens, geese, pigeons, roosters, guinea pigs, and ones I am forgetting about, on this particular trip I bonded most with the new pig, Happy. 

While I worked on the cages, Happy was behind me about 10 feet away in his cage slopping up his corn like a kid devouring ice cream. His slurping, chomping and grunting made me smile. I would say to him, " Happy, you sure sound happy over there." Or, " That sounds so good I hope you save me some!"  With each comment to him, he seemed to respond more vocally. When I would look up from my work and glance over at him, his tail would just wag and wiggle with joy as if he knew I was looking. As I kept working, the rabbits in their pens all above and around me made little cute snuffling noises. The chickens puttering about didn't dare come to close but were definitely curious as to what I was doing and why. Okay, like I mentioned earlier about not being distracted, well I guess the difference between me and my son is that I choose to be distracted. Does that make any sense at all to you? Let me elaborate on that a second. I can choose to totally block things out like noises, sights, smells etc. but I can also choose to let them into my brain and my senses. Well, as I took a few breaks ( chose to be distracted ) I wandered around the farm loving on the animals. I honked with the geese, cooed with the pigeons, clucked with the chickens, grunted with the pig and even rubbed his belly. He loved that. 

All in all it was an exhaustively awesome few hours. It is always a wonderful feeling to be able to help out a friend or even a stranger that has a need. I will be going back very soon to help finish the chore and as I do, I am most certain I will once again be distracted by the sheer uniqueness of each animal. Of all the rabbits on the farm, the ones for show and competition, the others for meat and still the others raised for pets, I gravitated to one that had not been the best breeder or had been the most successful mother. She was so sweet. I held her for only a few minutes but we connected. I'm sure of it! Her rust colored fur was so soft and her big ole feet were nice and cool resting on my arm. I hope to see her again soon. I named her Rusty.

As my time ended for the day all covered in sweat, dirt and grime, I made my rounds one more time around the farm. Before I left my friend gave me an abbreviated course in how to show rabbits. I had no clue what judges look for or what breeders look for in choosing which rabbit to show or further breed with which others. It is fascinating. I came home with a wealth of knowledge that the average person or even pet store employee may never have a clue about. I am anxious to learn more the next time I go work at the farm. After having been down and out and occupied with company, I really enjoyed this morning at the farm. I knew I needed some fresh air but I had no clue that my breath of fresh air would be so fruitful with the scent of animals in it. Usually the beach is my get away, outdoor, passion spot. I think now that I will be making a point to make more visits to see all of these critters and also spend more time with my buddy's horses. It is such a blessing to have these outlets in my life. Although I was there to help out someone else, I believe am the one who was helped the most. 

"She's Expecting!"

She's Expecting? No, we are not having a baby! Figure I need to clarify that right of the bat just to dispel rumors that so easily get started. Expecting.........expecting what? When I thought of the title for today's post, the time frame of 9 months popped into my head. From that thought I began to examine and look at just what is possible within 9 months. Of course we all know that it takes 9 months for a baby to form to full term and be birthed. What else though in that time frame can be accomplished? 

As I did some homework on the subject I was surprised at some of the things that I found that I was unaware of. We know that with firm commitment and dedication, a person can lose a lot of weight in a 9 month time frame. Also, on the flip side of that or in conjunction with that, an individual can add a whole heap of solid new muscle to their frame as well.

(No this picture is not of me!!)

 I was a gym rat though for years and know very well what can be done as far as weight loss and muscle gains. At my most active daily gym regimen, I was weighing in at 248 lbs. I had large arms, chest and legs. Not overly large and freakish, but a good size that looked pleasing and afforded me the ability and strength to do just about any task or activity that I chose. Back in high school I was a scrawny 140 lbs soaking wet, so the addition of 100 pounds was a HUGE change for me. I didn't intend on gaining that size or muscle, the gym was just something that I enjoyed. Few people are aware of what I have been through physically since the early 1990's. I had been paralyzed in my neck and shoulder for 2 1/2 yrs right after high school and then in my mid 20's I lost my voice for almost 6 years. Not being able to talk and communicate, I had to find work that was more labor oriented. Over the next 10 years, heavy labor work and the gym really paid off for me. Sadly, I was not able to use my college degree which was in journalism and tv/film production being unable to speak. But, my back was as strong as a pack mule. 

I won't go into all of what I have dealt with since then in this post, but perhaps I will in another post. Anyway, I had to adapt to what I was dealing with and for me, then, labor jobs and getting big was all part of it. Back to what I first started talking about........what can be done in nine months. As I did further research I came across some things that I did not realize. I like to think that I am pretty well rounded and up to date on most everything. I got an education in my homework! Yes, we can lose or gain weight, have a baby, have a new house built or even restore an old car, but did you know that there are career training opportunities that you can get in that short time frame as well??  I took the traditional route during college. I finished my Jr. college degree in 2 years and then went on the the university level for another 2 years. No accelerated learning, CLEP tests or online education for me, just the basic "normal" path. However, in today's world and with the technology offered at our fingertips, did you know that you can get your LPN certificate or become a licensed Pharmacy Tech in 9 months to a year?? I had no clue! wow, what opportunities there are these days. 

Although I will not be pursuing those career opportunities I was excited to know that they are available in such a short amount of time. I DO think that more time could definitely be taken to have a much more competent individual though and obviously, on going education needs to be mandatory. When I look at my life, right now, at this moment in time, I am making myself come up with a nine month goal plan that will encompass several areas. Some of these areas are:

1. Improved finances

2. Improved health

3. More detailed short and long term goals

4. A more consistent daily routine

Granted these are a bit vague, but I haven't fine tuned them as of yet. These are just the ones that have jumped out at me while contemplating this post for today. Money isn't everything. I know folks who have more money than small countries who are not happy. I know people who are dirt poor, have no internet, no cell phones, drive old cars and they are among the happiest, most content people I know, but there is always room to improve your situation. Health isn't an issue for a lot of people either. For me though, it is a big deal. I have Tourette's Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, nerve damage in my arms, hands and legs, speech and vocal issues and horrible allergies. For me, health, yea, it is a very big deal. I can do some things to aid in my day to day living, but the majority of my progress and sustainability  is based on having great competent doctors and access to unique medications that provide help. Will I ever improve? Odds are that I may see some improvement in some areas but largely it will just be a daily acceptance and adapting to my issues. Okay, short and long term goals apply to everyone. If you don't have any, you need some!! These can encompass a job change, promotion, moving to a new home or new city, finding the right new car or even something like choosing to get married or have children. We all can improve on making these goals and making sure that we stick to them to see the best results. A more consistent daily routine. Now that is a tough one for me. I average 3 hours of sleep a night. I have been on that schedule for as long as I can remember. You might think, "well, with 21 hours a day to DO stuff, you must be very productive and have a lot of spare time." Not so much. I am as productive as my body will allow me to be. It isn't the fact that I don't try to get more sleep at night, it is just that that is all I actually end up with! My day starts with getting up early, around 445 a.m. most days to get my wife out the door to work and then get my son ready for school. As a stay at home Dad I have a ton of tasks to manage each day. I do all of the cooking, most of the cleaning, buying, maintenance of our house and cars and still try to find time for things like writing my music, and even this blog. Time is always a factor for me.

Getting back to the element of time, specifically my nine month time frame, I really need to make a concerted effort to pen down definite achievable goals. Day to day I manage a lot of things and I am good with that. In fact, I am good AT that, ask my wife and son! The long and short of this though is looking at what needs to happen. This can also be what you would like to happen. Without effort change never can really happen. It can, but not always in the way that you may choose. Remember that. As the coming 9 months pass by one day at a time, I will share with you more stories about me and what I've had to overcome and also some more of the things that I am determined to see happen in that time frame. For now, a wired little boy needs to be coaxed into his nighttime routine. So,enjoy the rest of your week, set some goals and I'll be seeing you soon as we work on them together in the coming 9 months!

Your Friend Pool

Many people have a lot of friends. Friends come and friends go. This is a fact of life. For me, I see friends like those at a pool party. You have the ones who are showing off, doing flips off of the diving board, others are just hanging out quietly by the steps and others still are floating around waiting for something "cool"to just happen. Today's post is just designed to get you thinking about what friends are in your "life pool."  

When I look at my friends with the "pool" perspective, I think of several different things. We can all agree that having friends, to what ever degree of their friendship, IS a good thing. Having someone to rattle off complaints about the day or to just laugh with is golden. Having someone with whom you can cry and show your true colors though is priceless. I am fortunate to have always had a lot of friends. Granted the majority of them haven't always been close friends, but friends just the same. Think of it this way: If you were in an actual pool and you began to drown, do you know certain people that would come to your rescue?? Sure you do!! Now, do you know people that would just sit by and hope you were okay? Yep, you know those folks too. Now, do you know people in your "pool" that would have never let you begin to drown in the first place?  If you do, you are among a very blessed percentage of people who have a true best friend. 

This quote above is a bit extreme and not truthful in all legal actuality but it does serve the purpose and make a great point. If you were about to drown, THAT person would grab you before you do. True friend no doubt. Looking at my life pool I can section it out into several different groups. I have folks I know who are more acquaintance types whom I will keep up with but not really do more than that. I also have folks that I am a bit closer to that I will communicate with quite often via Facebook, text or email. There are still others that I know I can count on to hear me whine, who will share important things with me, and those with whom I know my secrets will be safe. All of these listed are important to me and fulfill different needs in my life. I hope that is reciprocal. Surveys have said for years that if the average Joe has 2 lifelong best friends, they are in the minority and that most people seldom have one!! This shocks me, but at the same time I kind of get it. I have had 3 people whom I have known intimately for over 30 years now. I trust them with my confidence, my good and bad times and with my life itself. For them I would rope the moon and even give my life to protect them. These are best friends that I can always trust to be honest with me and not candy coat things just to appease me. 

In my life pool I have quite the diverse mix of people. I have sound engineers, radio personalities, authors, musicians, writers, teachers, pastors, counselors, stay at home moms and dads, mechanical engineers, janitors, politicians, foreign ambassadors, mechanics, school bus drivers, comedians.........you name it. I have been fortunate in many many ways to have experienced so much in my life that has allowed me the opportunity to meet all of these people. A while back, I went through my friends list on Facebook and did some cleaning out as it were. People with whom I rarely communicated and those who rarely did the same with me, people who really didn't pay attention to anything I had been doing or was involved in, I let go. I encourage anyone to do this from time to time. People come and go as I already stated. We all know this. Why does this happen? Why do some come for a season, hurt us and then bail? I say this happens as a way to chip off parts of me that needed to be gone or erased or fine tuned. Like sand in a tumbler full of rocks, the abrasiveness that these people caused in my life just in fact polished me and helped make me better. Some people, friends, are meant to be left behind because where you are intended to go, they just won't fit in to what purpose you are meant to fulfill. Make sense? It took me a long time to understand that principle and even longer to actually accept it. 

I am not going to belabor the point or drag this out much longer. I will though add a couple of quotes that pretty much sum up what dynamic friends should bring into your life. Take care of those around you, especially the ones that take care of you. This advice can be taken to heart and put into practice and I guarantee you that you will never regret it. Here are a few quotes that really hit home with me.

“Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends.”


“A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.”


“A friend is someone who, upon seeing another friend in immense pain, would rather be the one experiencing the pain than to have to watch their friend suffer.”

So to close this out, do some spring cleaning in your life pool, make an effort to get to really know those with whom you share commonalities, and always treasure the ones who have always and will always be by your side through whatever you go through in life. I hope and trust that you have good people around you that encourage, lift you up, brighten your day and inspire you always.