So maybe you didn't know

Let me preface this blog by saying this. For those of you who have known me for years, you probably are familiar with some of my issues. For the rest of you, put on your seatbelts.

Since I was about age 9 I've had tics and twitches. It started out with my fingers spreading and flicking. Throughout high school these "tics" were barely noticeable. By the time I graduated overseas things had changed, a lot. I was officially diagnosed with Tourette's Syndrome. No, it is not contagious and No, it is not something that most people are even educated about. In a nutshell, it is where the brain is missing the chemical that stops the signals that make muscles and nerves move and function. As an young adult I faced 2 1/2 years being paralyzed in my neck. Treatment that was successful finally was found and that problem went away. Next I lost my voice for 6 years. Talk about something really throwing you for a loop! I remember having to hold up a sign at the drive thru to relay my order at the window and getting so much grief and taunting that it was ridiculous!! Like the neck issue, I was told there was no curing it. Well, hard work, a lot of prayer and determination got me through that as well. I've dealt with a facial stroke, nerve damage, fibromyalgia, you name it.

Over the past 20 years I have literally been to hell and back. Careers had to be changed and abandoned, friends came and went and relationships often ended in failure even though I was a very good, hard working, loving guy. Anyway, over the years as I have aged and matured I have come to the point where I really do not care what people think of me. As a result of being on Haldol for way too many years, prescribed by a neurologist who only cared about his golf game, I developed Tardive Dyskinesia. Okay, how to explain that one. It is similar to Tourette's in that involuntary movements happen. The worst part of it for me is that it makes me cough  often and makes my tongue want to jump out of my mouth. This tongue thing looks very strange. My face contorts a bit, the tongue darts out the left side of my mouth and I get stuck for seconds or even  minutes. It is such a burden. With the onset of this and my fibromyalgia I had to quit working and go on disability a few years back. I had worked full time since age 15 and had done just about every kind of work there is out there. I had been an office coordinator, a maintenance director, construction foreman and even a juvenile correction counselor. 

Like the image above says, Why fit in when you were made to stand out? Well, like I said, as i aged this truly became my mantra. I grew up as a singer, won competitions, was in a bunch of choirs, quartets and other groups and even in a few bands. I played guitar, bongos, cajon and bass guitar. When I couldn't sing due to the Tardive Dyskinesia and allergies, I would play. Yea I would stand out, but I never let that bother me. I developed such a thick skin and such a bold personality that eventually people were able to see past the outside and discover the guy I was on the inside. That guy was/is highly creative, overly intelligent, comical, sharp witted and above all very loyal.  Looking back to my high school days, they were amazing. I accomplished so much and wouldn't change a thing about them. Well, I would change one thing but we're not discussing who i SHOULD have tried to date, in this post!  All the things I have been through changed me in a big way. Before all of this got really bad, I often avoided people with disabilities. I would be polite and courteous but I really wouldn't go much beyond that. Having had to face all that I have, really made me re-evaluate my outlook and opinions.  I am ashamed to say that I should have given those persons I encountered a much fairer chance than I did. In the past 15 years especially, I learned to embrace all types of people and not just ones who deal with a disability but people from difference economic brackets, different geographic areas and people with ideas and beliefs contrary to my own. I have grown up. 

I think this saying above sums it up well. A bad attitude is not only contagious but it is harmful. It is harmful to not only others but to yourself. Life has taught me a lot and for that I am so grateful. I have had the opportunity to share my experiences with teenagers. work with them a great deal and have also committed myself to giving back to those who need a smile, a laugh, or just and ear to listen. In doing so, I have met some of the most amazing, genuine people. It is astounding how many people are out there in the world that have so much to share, to give and to contribute. Being blind-eyed and a bit prejudiced, I missed meeting and getting to know a ton of those people. If I could go back in time, I would definitely live that part of my life over with the renewed attitude that I have now. That is water under the bridge. Day to day I still face great challenges physically. Emotionally I am strong and balanced. 

Just this week, through seeking out forums in which to share with others and to learn from others as well, I came across a post that really got my attention. It dealt with one of my biggest physical issues. Yes, someone else had dealt with what I do daily! As I read the post and the following comments, my eyes were opened to the possibility that there might be options that could help me in ways that my doctors have yet been unable to do. I decided to give the idea that was mentioned a shot. After going through a simple procedure, I felt immediate positive results. I am sore as I write this blog post but I am also blown away at how simple the improvement actually came. I'll cover more about that in the near future. To wrap this up, if you are going through life excluding people different than you, you have blinders on. You need to look at your life, your choices, your vices and really and truly ask yourself, "Am I an excluder?" It took me years to realize that that was me. Man, once I did though, a whole new world opened up before my eyes. Bottom line, don't judge others by what you see. Give people, all people, a chance to be discovered by you. If they do something to give you reason to run or walk away that's fine. On the flip side, they just might give you a reason to love them to pieces and be thankful that they crossed your path. Whatever you do, always be real, be polite and be honest not just with others, but yourself as well.

The End is just the Beginning

Wow, the holiday season is in full swing. The year has flown by as quickly as a thunder storm on a summer afternoon.  The rains have come, the thunder has made its echoing booms across the sky and the lightening has illuminated the heavens.  Through it all, the grass of our lives has grown, been mowed, flowers bloomed and now that the leaves are falling to rest upon the ground of our days, it is time to evaluate the end. For me personally, this year has been full of ups and downs, just like anyone else. Victories have come and gone, failures have struck me in the face, and unknowns have had my back at the most unexpected of times. In looking back over this year I've come to consider life, my choices, the outcomes, much like a hot air balloon.

Like a hot air balloon, the design and aesthetics of each is a bit different. Such are our days. The common fact that they all share is in their function. Hot air balloons are designed to do 2 things: Go up, and come down. On the way up, a view is offered that often lifts the spirit, wows the eyes and brings a new perspective. On the way down, either one can grab hold of the experience and treasure it, or one can be depressed and hate the fact that is is over. Our days and decisions are just the same way. Through them, good or bad, we have new perspective, new things to see and take in, and likewise we can treasure the consequence or hate it and let it depress us, bringing us down. What makes a balloon rise is the element of hot air. People are often accused of being full of "hot" air. Good or bad?  I say both. I think the stigma is that a person who boasts too much, is overconfident, one who exaggerates too much, is the type that most will associate with that label. On the other hand, people who are appropriately confident, who push the envelope a bit for positive reasons, and ones who employ their hot air to rise above, are ones who GET it right. Every day can and will not be like Disney. 

No matter how hard we might try to make the day joy filled and happy, that will not always be the end result. There will be days of sorrow and strife and we just have to learn to deal with it in the best way possible. Some times on those less than desirable days, we will encounter Mr. or Ms. Hot Air.  How we discern their intentions and choose to respond is up to us. I've heard people say for years,
"So and So made me mad!!"  

No they didn't.  No one can make you mad or sad or anything. You CHOOSE to be made mad or sad!!  For me, this whole concept of facing the ups and downs of life must be paired hand in hand with your dreams. If you abandon your dreams, then all too often you are left to just muddle through your days, existing......nothing more, nothing less. I'm not saying to jump ship and head off on a trek to the amazon in search of gold simply on a whim, but do not discount your dreams. They are in your head and your heart for a reason. They have not been born and taken up residence there by accident. It may take time and a lot of extra effort to even begin to make your dreams have a relevance in your life. It WILL take some changes in both your attitude and your want to. 

The picture above sums it up well. Dreams Do start inside, they do take courage and effort. Real dreams will include mistakes, many of them. Your character will not only be challenged but it will be forced to grow and adapt, making you stronger. Any dream is achievable in my opinion. The more bizarre or far fetched they are though, will require a ten fold effort at least. As this year is winding down, I am looking within, locating some dreams I have put on a shelf in a box. Will I pursue them all? No.  Are there one or two that are worth pursuing? Yes indeed. My challenge to you is, go into your emotional closet, dust off those boxes, and at least look at those dreams you have stowed away. Consider them, their benefit and their potential and commit to going for the things that lift you up, make you happy, and that change your perspective............much life being aboard a hot air balloon. What goes up must come down, but how you choose to land is all up to you!! 

Nobody REALLY knows

I've got it all together! I know Exactly what to do!      Ever met someone who always says that?  I think we all have. I'm sure at some point in my life, I may have even stated such sentiment. As much as we all want to think that we are totally in charge and know everything about everything, we really don't. Not always.

Always in life we have to live somewhat of a guessing game. So, you went to a job interview and are convinced that you sold yourself perfectly. The job is a shoe in.  Not so fast!  Even the best interviewers and employment experts can and will tell you, even when you are convinced, the one hiring still may not be.  Okay, let's say you are dating and meet someone, connect and things go pretty well. For a lot of people, they automatically assume "this is the one." Or, "this is a sure thing."  Again, not so fast!  Whether you are a girl or a guy, totally figuring out the opposite gender is NEVER going to happen! If it were possible, someone would have made a fortune selling and proving that their way or research tips always get the job done.   Alright, let's say there is a work situation where You are certain that you know the right answer. Perhaps your boss is lacking and his or her decisions aren't going right, in your opinion. You speak up, "What we really need to do is..."  Not so fast!  Granted for those who have been supervisors, in management etcetera,  we have a pretty good feel for the right work ethic, moral situation, and what is needed to keep things running smoothly at the office. Unless you have walked in those exact shoes and in the exact situation as your boss, well, I hate to say it but, you really may NOT know the right answer. It is fine to be confident. It is often encouraged. We need to all remember though, you cannot Google everything and trust it will be the correct answer for every situation.

I have interacted with a LOT of people over the years. I have made what I call, "good gut calls" and "bad gut calls."  What I mean by this is, there are times when you just act on impulse. On occasion those play out just fine. On others, not so much. A good gut call might be, for example, if you are a quarterback and you see the box collapsing around you and the play has been sniffed out. So, you decide to roll out and throw to an open receiver down field. Boom, score!! A bad one might be something like, your friends are all going out to party and you know they are gonna get wild and crazy, BUT you go anyway, knowing that you more than likely will give in.  In my experience, trusting your instincts usually is a safe bet.  Depending on how you were brought up, that instinct may be better or worse than others. I was brought up in a stable home with a good education, plenty of opportunity and a great support network. From all of that I honed an instinct that usually bodes well in most situations. Yes, I have made bad calls instinctively. Who hasn't!

Even in my times of poor judgment, things always work out. Why? Good question. There are several factors that one can have "going " for them. One could be smart friends. Another could be a belief in something bigger than you are, like God or religion. It could also be due to just pure luck.  As you grow older and hopefully wiser, there will be clues around every situation that you encounter. These clues may be totally obvious to you. They may also be hidden in plain sight. There is no sure fire way to learn how to read and understand these clues. It takes time, effort, experience, and sometimes a gamble.

The reason I wanted to write this post is because I know some people right now who are questioning their Know It All.  Questioning their instincts, if you will. To them I say, go with your gut in conjunction with your heart. What you have learned thus far in life, be it good or bad, can help guide you if you are willing to listen. You are a smart cookie, so don't underestimate yourself. If something seems unattainable, it just might be attainable. If something doesn't feel right and you smell a rat instinctively, then you probably need to re-evaluate.  Try to make wise choices but if you slip up and don't, have enough confidence in yourself to bounce right back up on your feet and keep on going!!

Just................

Today's post is short, simple and to the point. Sometimes I think that is what just needs to be. Things that require much thought or introspection can, from time to time, become more of a burden than a benefit. Life has been so incredibly busy for me of late. We have had company come and stay with us, I have been working on outside projects, volunteering my time for good causes and have also faced injury. At times I wonder what is the point? Why try so hard to make life good? As I pondered those very questions, a few simple reminders came to mind. Let me quickly share them with you.

When you are hungry, eat.

When you are tired, push on.

When you dream, dream big.

When you are happy, enjoy it!

And finally, when you are blessed, be thankful.

Yes, simple concepts indeed, yet so many of us ignore them or even forget their importance. As you finish out your week, I hope you take the time to eat, regain your strength, dream amazing dreams, be happy and in doing so you will find yourself blessed.

Social Media?

As with most folks, I am involved in Social Media. I have had Myspace and Facebook and other social sites that I have used over the years, and for the most part, I enjoyed using them. As I have gotten older, I cut back to using just one. I think the main reason is, that I have realized how valuable time actually is. I had to ask myself, "Do I really need 3 social sites and 3 profiles and 3 accounts to keep up with?" My answer was a definite, "no." Initially when social media first hit the scene, I was like everyone else. I wanted to see what the big deal was, be seen and have something to do with my time. Over the years my priorities shifted, my likes and dislikes changed and so did the things around me. Myspace was my first social network of choice.

Back when Myspace first was introduced it was a platform for networking with new people, finding old friends and making posts about average things you were doing. Not like anyone really cared, but it was still cool at the time. After a few years, I began to mess around with HTML and making custom Myspace pages. I got really good at creating these visually awesome pages that my friends would flock to see. In fact, I even had a thing where I would ask my friends to give me a theme challenge. Over night I would come up with one of their theme ideas. I made themes from Star Wars to the Muppets with raining icons, sparkles, sound and so on. It got to where people loved my pages I created so much that they began to ask me to make a custom page for them. For a couple of years I did just that. A few people got wind of it whom I didn't know and offered to PAY me for my services. It was great! I must have had over 100,000 images downloaded on my computer just FOR that purpose of making custom pages. Facebook showed up on the scene. I was not impressed. There was no way of customizing your page and making it unique and full of visual bling. I passed on subscribing to Facebook for that reason, too boring. More time passed and I found a lot of my people were disappearing. At long last, I joined Facebook and to my chagrin, my lost people were there.

I also found that a lot of my lost family members were on Facebook and had been since its inception. I was thrilled and still am to this day that I was able to finally track some of them down and start reconnecting. Growing up, I rarely got to see any of my northern cousins that were on my Dad's side of the family. 20 years went by after Grandma's funeral before I was able to actually see just one of my cousins and meet his wife. Social media has allowed me to reconnect with a lot of my family with whom I have had little contact for years. We have not seen each other in decades but we are a lot closer now thanks to social media. There is a lot of good that can come out of this type of medium and I don't think anyone will disagree with that. There also can be a lot of unnecessary junk associated though too. Breaking it down into pros and cons I would put it like this:

Pros:  Reconnecting with people

          Meeting new people with common interests

          Having that immediate notification from someone who may need something

          The ability to share important things across the country and the world in seconds

           that would otherwise take forever via snail mail or even email.

           Forums and pages available to educate you more readily

           Being able to share links to Youtube and see the videos play within your page.

Cons:  Negative people

           Drama on your page

           Content that you do not  approve of ( granted you can hide that now as an option )

            Spying factor into your personal business by others and entities

These are just a few examples but for me the good outweighs the bad. I have asked a few people in my network, who reads every single post?  I have also been asked, how do you respond to bad news people share? Do you hurriedly just click LIKE or do you take a minute to comment?  With the involving yourself in social media of any kind, there are responsibilities. You are so exposed to people's lives, intimate details, trials, victories and such that you have to gauge how to respond to them all. My general rule of thumb has served me well. If I see a comment or post that reports bad news, or illness, I take a second and post something instead of just clicking the LIKE button. I admit, I do not read every single post that is put on my page. I scan. The ones that look interesting I will look at more intently. The ones that I just want to shake my head over, I either come back to later or just ignore. Does this mean that I am insensitive? I think not. Everyone has to manage his or her time the best way they can. Some folks have the time to sit online all day and makes posts, comments and share funny things. Others do not. 

One truth that we can not ignore is that when time is gone IT IS GONE! You can never get it back. In our modern technological age, via smart phones and tablets we can easily receive and manage our emails, social media, tweets and so on in a matter of minutes or seconds. For that I am grateful. Like anyone else though, I have to keep in check, how much "time" am I taking on keeping up with everything. Time management for some is a lost cause while for others it is something they feed on and excel at. I am in the latter category. Look, I would have to say that I enjoy technology as much as the next guy, but there is something to be said for simplicity too. Take a little time and examine how much of your time could be spent elsewhere and what benefit that could afford you, then make a conscious effort to step back a bit from emails and tweets and commenting if you need to. I promise you that the world will go on just fine without you for a few hours or even a few days. I have a couple of friends who take breaks from social networking and emails for a season. During those times when they walk away from it all, or even some of it, they tend to find renewal. Renewal of mind, clarity, sense of purpose and are able to better focus on what lies ahead. Consider doing this. Like I said, friends may miss your LOL's or OMG's or smileys, but both you and they will survive. 

Thank you for taking some of your valuable time to read this blog post. I wish you well this week and until next time, check out for a few days! I just might do the same. 

Can I Help You?

Wow, what a simple question that packs so much punch! Most people when asked, "Can I help you?" have to think two things. One, do I NEED help, and who are YOU to help me? I've been an avid film watcher for years. In college, my degree was, in part, in film production. I love a good movie. I don't think there is a person alive that does not appreciate a good drama or an innocent love story or just a movie about hope and change. Well, there have been a good number of movies that offer good messages and messages of renewal and hope over the past 20 years. On the flip side though, there have been a great majority of films that denigrate humanity, endorse violence, drug use, and outright are devoid of anything positive. I want to share 3 films with you briefly. My initial question, Can I help you, has ties to each of these movies, but not in obvious ways. Let's look at...................Benny and Joon first off.

The basic irony of the movie is that Joon, who has a mental illness, is not fit to live alone, and doesn't really cope well with change or everyday things outside of her simple routine. Her brother takes care of her, often sheltering her from new things, being very protective of her. Well, through a series of unusual events, Sam enters the picture. Sam is very eccentric. He has been hugely influenced by the likes of Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton. He is out of the box in every way, odd yet very creative and engaging IN his own kind of way.  Over the course of the movie it becomes apparent that both Joon and Sam NEED each other. Although it is never asked, Can I help you, one can see that even without that direct asking, they bring something to the table that the other needs. It is awesome! Joon learns to accept new things, face challenges with Sam's help and he learns to love her AS she is. Okay, movie # 2. Remember the Titans.

I think most everyone with a pulse who enjoys movies knows something about this movie. Basically, a small town, very steeped in racist beliefs and actions, has to hire a new high school football coach. Enter the new coach, an African American man, with great family values and work ethic. He encounters opposition from day one from the other coaches on staff, the school and most of all the players. Throughout the early going in the movie, Coach Herman Boone begins to nip the whole racist element in the bud. From talks to players, opening the door to outside players becoming a part of the team, on down to cutting star players who refuse to accept change, this new coach makes waves, and big ones at that. Soon, all the players, black and white are forced to either accept each other or miss out. As the drills increase, practices get harder and harder, there is a breakthrough. The 2 star players find common ground. From here on out the Titans become cohesive and very successful. Again, it is never asked, Can I help you, but it is oh so obvious that not only Coach Boone can help them, but it is apparent and critical that the players help themselves. If you have not seen this movie, I highly recommend it. On to the third and final movie I would like to talk about. Music and Lyrics.

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I admittedly am a little biased, so I am giving this movie 2 pics! Premise: a washed up former 80's pop music star is struggling to make ends meet and make a come back of any kind. He ends up meeting a younger gal who is a temp flower girl, watering his plants in his apartment. After doing cheesy commercials and openings for nursing homes and car lots etc. Alex Fletcher gets some help, without even knowing it, from Sophie the flower girl. It seems she has an uncanny ability to come up with catchy lyrics that he soon is determined to use as he tries to foster a desire in her to become a lyricist. Series of events take place, they hit roadblocks personally, opportunities come and go for the former singer, but then a big chance presents itself front and center. She doesn't ask, Can I help you, but boy does she! Through coaxing, a collaborative effort produces a new hit for a popular singer in the current market. Sophie and Alex end up falling in love etc. etc.  The reason I wanted to touch on the whole Can I help You vibe in these movies is to make us realize that, even when we are unaware, people around us, those who cross our paths, those with whom we are close and even those whom we have yet to meet, Help us. We are given pushes, glimpses, motivations, inspirations from all kinds of places including each other. In turn, we can do the same for others.  Whether we choose to admit it or not, we all need a little help from time to time. There should be no shame needing help. The wisest men in history became wise in part in knowing when to seek help. What we as people and a society need to learn, is when to offer help and when to accept it. It takes practice in both respects. We won't be "the right kind of helpful" the first time or two out. We won't be "the right kind of accepting" the first time or two we receive help either. As you go about your days, look for opportunity to offer an encouraging word, an idea. As you face struggles or times when you question yourself or your abilities, look around you. I bet the right help is staring you in the face. Don't be so persnickety as to not accept it! Carpe Diem! Seize this day!

Wrong?

Okay guys, it has been a while since I have been able to write a new post. I apologize. Sometimes life throws things at you that simply cannot be avoided or put on the back burner. Today's post will be short and simple but with a powerful message for thought.

How many times have we done things that we were convinced was right and in actuality it might not have been? This could be morally, physically, emotionally or even just acts in our every day world. Recently I came across a video by total happenstance that really hit home with me. I think most of us have heard of Mike Rowe. He has been the host of Dirty Jobs that airs on the Discovery Channel since its inception. The premise, for those who do not know, is that Mr. Rowe goes out in all parts of our country and becomes an apprentice for a day, doing the dirtiest, nastiest, and often most difficult and taxing jobs that there are in any workplace. He was shoveled chicken poop from under breeding houses, crawled into tiny spaces to blast out smut from boilers and furnaces and has even done things way more bizarre in the eye of the average man or woman. I always enjoy watching this program. Not only is the viewer made aware of the types of dirty jobs out there but also it sheds a light on the importance of them in the sustainability of our nation as a whole.

Growing up, my Dad "taught" me the right way to sweep. This was his opinion obviously and he was darn set in it being the best way. I guess being the stubborn kid I was, or perhaps just the fact that I like to think outside of the box, I found another way. I would hold the broom with hands opposite of tradition. For me it made more sense. It is difficult to explain just what that means here, but my point is, in my mind, my Dad was wrong. As I grew into an adult and used brooms a lot over the years, I came to the understanding that neither of us were really wrong. The adage, there is more than one way to skin a cat, applies. With regulations and OSHA and other red tape installments, many things that our ancestors did, and did with great success, now are not permissible. Away from tasks, I think we have all crossed the line when it comes to morally doing something we KNEW was wrong. On the other hand, I also think that we have done things morally that we didn't actually KNOW were wrong until much later in life. We have been a party to and also a victim of emotional wrongs as well. We have slighted people and have been stabbed in the back. Another angle to this is also the fact that so many famous persons have fallen prey to steroid use and abuse for example.. It is wrong, it is cheating and it does not pay off in the end. It also leads to physical, mental and emotional difficulties.

Morally, ethically, and physically, steroid use, even in a legal instance, is questionable. But back to the issue of every day, generic tasks. When we drive our vehicles, we know we shouldn't eat and text and smoke and drink and fard and chat on the cell phone while we are driving, yet we do it anyway. Wrong.....Wrong choices that often results in the right consequence, tragic as it may be. Getting back to Mike Rowe. As I said, I happened across a related video that came up after reading a response he had written to someone who asked of him the way to find your dream job. Excellent article and response by the way. In the video I reference, Mr. Rowe is at a TED conference as a key speaker. I had often thought him to be a very smart, educated, hard working individual. Well, after watching this video, I felt, well, somewhat dumber. His mastery of the English language, his nomenclature, delivery and reasoning blew me away. As a quick synopsis of his talk, he covers how in doing the show Dirty Jobs he didn't really think about the jobs he was asked to do or give much credence to the individuals that do them daily. It was as if he had an epiphany, a clarity of reasoning and thought. I am going to try and insert the link to his video and hope that it works. I encourage you to watch it. Whether you are a white collar, blue collar, or other type of worker, his message will apply to you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRVdiHu1VCc


After watching it twice now, for me it has made me aware of two things. One is that hard work is never a bad thing. and two, that without hard work we as a people often lose track of what is really important. When you can pick up dead carcasses on the roadway and whistle while you do it, that says something. It says you are content in what you are doing. It also says that even if you don't like the job you have, your attitude can most assuredly affect it in a positive way. In closing, watch the video. Watch other videos that Mike Rowe is involved with. He is a breath of fresh air in an often dirty world. We all need a gut check from time to time. Don't be afraid to admit that you may have been wrong or that you are wrong. People far wiser than we, in the grand scope of things, do know a thing or two that we can choose to learn from.