The Twenty and Sixteen Challenge

The hustle and bustle of the Christmas season has now passed. Santa came and went, a Savior's birth was celebrated, and time once again marched on. It is the new year! Congratulations on making it first of all!  For myriads of us, 2015 was a challenging year in oh so many ways, but like crowds of others, I am grateful for all that was put on my plate, crossed my path and impacted my life this past year.

In this new 2016, several things have already come to mind that i need to do more of this year. I want to share them with you, in the hopes that you as well, might find them WORTH the time and investment. Anyone who knows me much at all, knows that I like to be challenged and to push myself day in and day out. Whether that is intellectually, spiritually, physically or otherwise, I like trying to improve and go beyond the status quo.

Number one on the list:

Learn something new everyday

Why? This old world is huge and voluminous in its content. There is always some one who knows more than you; Pick their brain.  There is always some THING that you don't understand; Do some homework, some research to better wrap your mind around whatever IT is. There is always a need for someone to birth new ideas;  Medical, Technology,  Economy, Theology etc. are all areas that perhaps YOU could impact with your unique thought. Don't become complacent and simply allow your mind to just run through a daily routine. Challenge your brain! The human brain is like any other part of your body. It needs exercising to stay at or reach an optimal level of operation.

Number two on the list:

Engage is healthy debates or conversation

Here again, the general theme is, keeping that mind of your busy with Good things. Anytime someone willingly debates or has a lively conversation, your personal beliefs are either solidified or they become beliefs that you might feel the need to look at again with more depth. We all like to think that OUR way of doing something, or OUR opinion is the only valid one out there, and in some cases that may be true. In others, ah, not so much.
Remind me to tell you guys about my Dad teaching me to sweep, one of these days. Trust me, it really DOES fit in, there is just not time or space for the telling of that lesson here today.


Number three on the list:

Be more friendly

I am already hearing the uproar from my introverts in the crowd, but truth of the matter is, that any act of being more friendly is a good thing. If you have to just smile and that's it, good for you!.
Did you know that it takes more muscles and effort to frown than to smile?

Yep, college is full of information! I can be down in the dumps, feeling like a wet dog stuck in a swamp and if I make myself smile or speak to someone in a kind way, I automatically feel a bit better on the inside.

In today's world with all the unrest between religious groups, political parties, views on gender identity and the like, it can be difficult to set aside our personal view and Just be friendly; however, it Can be done. Here recently I was in line at a restaurant and there was a man who was very argumentative with the lady next to him. He was ranting on about how wrong she was and how ignorant she is. I listened a couple of minutes to their exchange and finally just said to myself, "I need to fix this."  I took a step toward them and simply said these 6 little words, "That sun sure is smiling today." Immediately the two of them smiled at me and then at each other, dropped their ridiculous banter and calmed down.  If you are not the type to engage someone, or speak up if not directly spoken to, that's fine. Just smile or nod. Offer someone your spot in line if you have the time. Give someone that 20 cents they cant seem to dig out of their purse for their purchase. Anything. Be more friendly. I promise you, You won't be the only one to benefit from it.

Number four on the list:

Read more books

Is your daily existence making you feel down, depressed, hurried and rushed? Can't afford to or have time to take a get away? Need some inspiration, some motivation? Read!! The magic of a book is its ability to take you to a plethora of places, to involve you in a whirl wind of stories, people, ideas. Books engage you from a visceral level and also can engage your emotions, your "heart." I have never been a big reader. Over the years though, forcing myself to read more and read books outside of my preferred topics, I have actually discovered some of the uniqueness and rarity only a good book can bring. Don't know what to read? Well, with all the available topics, classic novels, periodicals, the Bible, poetry out there, just pick something to start with. If you don't find that ONE magical book right off the bat, choose another. Deciding what to read takes a bit of effort and some trail and error. But, once you've hit upon the right author, the right topic, genre or series, You can become hooked. Reading is best done in a quiet place, often alone, apart from the chaos of the world around you. Finding and making that time is something we all need to do. Should you opt for quiet time and still don't want to spend it reading, well, here are a couple more ideas to help you keep your sanity.

* write a letter
* take photos
* take care of a plant
* visit the beach or some spot in nature
* bake something tasty

Whatever you end up doing in 2016, I do hope you find peace, joy and happiness. We have been given this year as a blank canvas. Paint something memorable that leaves people with a smile on their face and with a difference being made in their heart and mind.

Happy New Year everyone!! Be blessed.

T.K.O.

Most everyone knows the acronym T.K.O. as a technical knock out. With that, you probably see in your mind, boxers or MMA fighters going at it. There have been many epic fights over the years that still bring chills. Muhammed Ali, Joe Frazier, and even more current fights like the latest win by Ronda Rousey have all become hot topics throughout time.

If you are the average Joe on the street, chances are that you won't be in such fights as these. The kind of fights you WILL face are ones that are very common to thousands of people each and every day.
Finances is a big one. Even when you are prepared with a  game plan, an outlined schedule to save and makes ends meet, there are always things you do not plan for that require extra money. It is awesome when you are able to simply go to your account and pull out what you need to cover that unexpected expense. For most people though, that luxury isn't always there.

Even the best laid plans to save more and spend less often fall short. In those instances, yep, the fight is real and up close and personal. Having to cut some things, really buckle down and choose what has priority is not easy. We all like our extra things we enjoy doing, but the question is, at what cost?



Another area that we often find ourselves stuck battling can come be something simple like you forgot to wash your favorite shirt or dress. Easy fix! Kids that choose to misbehave is another one that can give even the most seasoned parent fits. Moving on.

Have you ever walked out to your car ready to just jump in and go somewhere like work, church, to grocery shop and your car has decided that THIS is the day to give you a hard time?? I think if you don't admit you've had one or more of those days, you just might be telling a little white lie! I have been very fortunate over the years to have only had car trouble that was pretty minor. Thanks to my Dad, I was taught enough to be able to repair a lot of things that can go wrong with a vehicle. There have been times though when a problem was out of my wheel house and I knew right away, "This I can't fix."  This week has been such a week. Our car has been having minor issues for a while now and on Sunday it did not want to cooperate. I've spend several days tinkering with it and have yet to find the answer.

Talk about a let down! At first I wasn't too concerned but the more I mess with it the more I want to get, well, fighting mad. In all honesty, that really doesn't help at all. Yea, it may make you feel better for a short while, but the problem will still be there waiting on you after you have had your tantrum.

I'm still not sure what it will take to get our car back on the road, but ya gotta just keep looking at options and keep after it. I think the word I want to convey to you all is this. We will face fights in our life. Some we will win and some we will lose. For me, it boils down to  attitude. You can either choose to have an attitude that tells you to just quit and give up, or you can choose to adopt the attitude that you WILL find a way to get through it, even if that means you suffer a Temporary Knock Out.  Whatever you face this week, hang in there, keep your chin up. There is always someone is much more dire straits than you are in. Keep your wits about you, keep to your Faith, say some prayers and everything will play out just as it should. You know, sometimes the best things come out of difficulty!!

So maybe you didn't know

Let me preface this blog by saying this. For those of you who have known me for years, you probably are familiar with some of my issues. For the rest of you, put on your seatbelts.

Since I was about age 9 I've had tics and twitches. It started out with my fingers spreading and flicking. Throughout high school these "tics" were barely noticeable. By the time I graduated overseas things had changed, a lot. I was officially diagnosed with Tourette's Syndrome. No, it is not contagious and No, it is not something that most people are even educated about. In a nutshell, it is where the brain is missing the chemical that stops the signals that make muscles and nerves move and function. As an young adult I faced 2 1/2 years being paralyzed in my neck. Treatment that was successful finally was found and that problem went away. Next I lost my voice for 6 years. Talk about something really throwing you for a loop! I remember having to hold up a sign at the drive thru to relay my order at the window and getting so much grief and taunting that it was ridiculous!! Like the neck issue, I was told there was no curing it. Well, hard work, a lot of prayer and determination got me through that as well. I've dealt with a facial stroke, nerve damage, fibromyalgia, you name it.

Over the past 20 years I have literally been to hell and back. Careers had to be changed and abandoned, friends came and went and relationships often ended in failure even though I was a very good, hard working, loving guy. Anyway, over the years as I have aged and matured I have come to the point where I really do not care what people think of me. As a result of being on Haldol for way too many years, prescribed by a neurologist who only cared about his golf game, I developed Tardive Dyskinesia. Okay, how to explain that one. It is similar to Tourette's in that involuntary movements happen. The worst part of it for me is that it makes me cough  often and makes my tongue want to jump out of my mouth. This tongue thing looks very strange. My face contorts a bit, the tongue darts out the left side of my mouth and I get stuck for seconds or even  minutes. It is such a burden. With the onset of this and my fibromyalgia I had to quit working and go on disability a few years back. I had worked full time since age 15 and had done just about every kind of work there is out there. I had been an office coordinator, a maintenance director, construction foreman and even a juvenile correction counselor. 

Like the image above says, Why fit in when you were made to stand out? Well, like I said, as i aged this truly became my mantra. I grew up as a singer, won competitions, was in a bunch of choirs, quartets and other groups and even in a few bands. I played guitar, bongos, cajon and bass guitar. When I couldn't sing due to the Tardive Dyskinesia and allergies, I would play. Yea I would stand out, but I never let that bother me. I developed such a thick skin and such a bold personality that eventually people were able to see past the outside and discover the guy I was on the inside. That guy was/is highly creative, overly intelligent, comical, sharp witted and above all very loyal.  Looking back to my high school days, they were amazing. I accomplished so much and wouldn't change a thing about them. Well, I would change one thing but we're not discussing who i SHOULD have tried to date, in this post!  All the things I have been through changed me in a big way. Before all of this got really bad, I often avoided people with disabilities. I would be polite and courteous but I really wouldn't go much beyond that. Having had to face all that I have, really made me re-evaluate my outlook and opinions.  I am ashamed to say that I should have given those persons I encountered a much fairer chance than I did. In the past 15 years especially, I learned to embrace all types of people and not just ones who deal with a disability but people from difference economic brackets, different geographic areas and people with ideas and beliefs contrary to my own. I have grown up. 

I think this saying above sums it up well. A bad attitude is not only contagious but it is harmful. It is harmful to not only others but to yourself. Life has taught me a lot and for that I am so grateful. I have had the opportunity to share my experiences with teenagers. work with them a great deal and have also committed myself to giving back to those who need a smile, a laugh, or just and ear to listen. In doing so, I have met some of the most amazing, genuine people. It is astounding how many people are out there in the world that have so much to share, to give and to contribute. Being blind-eyed and a bit prejudiced, I missed meeting and getting to know a ton of those people. If I could go back in time, I would definitely live that part of my life over with the renewed attitude that I have now. That is water under the bridge. Day to day I still face great challenges physically. Emotionally I am strong and balanced. 

Just this week, through seeking out forums in which to share with others and to learn from others as well, I came across a post that really got my attention. It dealt with one of my biggest physical issues. Yes, someone else had dealt with what I do daily! As I read the post and the following comments, my eyes were opened to the possibility that there might be options that could help me in ways that my doctors have yet been unable to do. I decided to give the idea that was mentioned a shot. After going through a simple procedure, I felt immediate positive results. I am sore as I write this blog post but I am also blown away at how simple the improvement actually came. I'll cover more about that in the near future. To wrap this up, if you are going through life excluding people different than you, you have blinders on. You need to look at your life, your choices, your vices and really and truly ask yourself, "Am I an excluder?" It took me years to realize that that was me. Man, once I did though, a whole new world opened up before my eyes. Bottom line, don't judge others by what you see. Give people, all people, a chance to be discovered by you. If they do something to give you reason to run or walk away that's fine. On the flip side, they just might give you a reason to love them to pieces and be thankful that they crossed your path. Whatever you do, always be real, be polite and be honest not just with others, but yourself as well.

The End is just the Beginning

Wow, the holiday season is in full swing. The year has flown by as quickly as a thunder storm on a summer afternoon.  The rains have come, the thunder has made its echoing booms across the sky and the lightening has illuminated the heavens.  Through it all, the grass of our lives has grown, been mowed, flowers bloomed and now that the leaves are falling to rest upon the ground of our days, it is time to evaluate the end. For me personally, this year has been full of ups and downs, just like anyone else. Victories have come and gone, failures have struck me in the face, and unknowns have had my back at the most unexpected of times. In looking back over this year I've come to consider life, my choices, the outcomes, much like a hot air balloon.

Like a hot air balloon, the design and aesthetics of each is a bit different. Such are our days. The common fact that they all share is in their function. Hot air balloons are designed to do 2 things: Go up, and come down. On the way up, a view is offered that often lifts the spirit, wows the eyes and brings a new perspective. On the way down, either one can grab hold of the experience and treasure it, or one can be depressed and hate the fact that is is over. Our days and decisions are just the same way. Through them, good or bad, we have new perspective, new things to see and take in, and likewise we can treasure the consequence or hate it and let it depress us, bringing us down. What makes a balloon rise is the element of hot air. People are often accused of being full of "hot" air. Good or bad?  I say both. I think the stigma is that a person who boasts too much, is overconfident, one who exaggerates too much, is the type that most will associate with that label. On the other hand, people who are appropriately confident, who push the envelope a bit for positive reasons, and ones who employ their hot air to rise above, are ones who GET it right. Every day can and will not be like Disney. 

No matter how hard we might try to make the day joy filled and happy, that will not always be the end result. There will be days of sorrow and strife and we just have to learn to deal with it in the best way possible. Some times on those less than desirable days, we will encounter Mr. or Ms. Hot Air.  How we discern their intentions and choose to respond is up to us. I've heard people say for years,
"So and So made me mad!!"  

No they didn't.  No one can make you mad or sad or anything. You CHOOSE to be made mad or sad!!  For me, this whole concept of facing the ups and downs of life must be paired hand in hand with your dreams. If you abandon your dreams, then all too often you are left to just muddle through your days, existing......nothing more, nothing less. I'm not saying to jump ship and head off on a trek to the amazon in search of gold simply on a whim, but do not discount your dreams. They are in your head and your heart for a reason. They have not been born and taken up residence there by accident. It may take time and a lot of extra effort to even begin to make your dreams have a relevance in your life. It WILL take some changes in both your attitude and your want to. 

The picture above sums it up well. Dreams Do start inside, they do take courage and effort. Real dreams will include mistakes, many of them. Your character will not only be challenged but it will be forced to grow and adapt, making you stronger. Any dream is achievable in my opinion. The more bizarre or far fetched they are though, will require a ten fold effort at least. As this year is winding down, I am looking within, locating some dreams I have put on a shelf in a box. Will I pursue them all? No.  Are there one or two that are worth pursuing? Yes indeed. My challenge to you is, go into your emotional closet, dust off those boxes, and at least look at those dreams you have stowed away. Consider them, their benefit and their potential and commit to going for the things that lift you up, make you happy, and that change your perspective............much life being aboard a hot air balloon. What goes up must come down, but how you choose to land is all up to you!! 

Nobody REALLY knows

I've got it all together! I know Exactly what to do!      Ever met someone who always says that?  I think we all have. I'm sure at some point in my life, I may have even stated such sentiment. As much as we all want to think that we are totally in charge and know everything about everything, we really don't. Not always.

Always in life we have to live somewhat of a guessing game. So, you went to a job interview and are convinced that you sold yourself perfectly. The job is a shoe in.  Not so fast!  Even the best interviewers and employment experts can and will tell you, even when you are convinced, the one hiring still may not be.  Okay, let's say you are dating and meet someone, connect and things go pretty well. For a lot of people, they automatically assume "this is the one." Or, "this is a sure thing."  Again, not so fast!  Whether you are a girl or a guy, totally figuring out the opposite gender is NEVER going to happen! If it were possible, someone would have made a fortune selling and proving that their way or research tips always get the job done.   Alright, let's say there is a work situation where You are certain that you know the right answer. Perhaps your boss is lacking and his or her decisions aren't going right, in your opinion. You speak up, "What we really need to do is..."  Not so fast!  Granted for those who have been supervisors, in management etcetera,  we have a pretty good feel for the right work ethic, moral situation, and what is needed to keep things running smoothly at the office. Unless you have walked in those exact shoes and in the exact situation as your boss, well, I hate to say it but, you really may NOT know the right answer. It is fine to be confident. It is often encouraged. We need to all remember though, you cannot Google everything and trust it will be the correct answer for every situation.

I have interacted with a LOT of people over the years. I have made what I call, "good gut calls" and "bad gut calls."  What I mean by this is, there are times when you just act on impulse. On occasion those play out just fine. On others, not so much. A good gut call might be, for example, if you are a quarterback and you see the box collapsing around you and the play has been sniffed out. So, you decide to roll out and throw to an open receiver down field. Boom, score!! A bad one might be something like, your friends are all going out to party and you know they are gonna get wild and crazy, BUT you go anyway, knowing that you more than likely will give in.  In my experience, trusting your instincts usually is a safe bet.  Depending on how you were brought up, that instinct may be better or worse than others. I was brought up in a stable home with a good education, plenty of opportunity and a great support network. From all of that I honed an instinct that usually bodes well in most situations. Yes, I have made bad calls instinctively. Who hasn't!

Even in my times of poor judgment, things always work out. Why? Good question. There are several factors that one can have "going " for them. One could be smart friends. Another could be a belief in something bigger than you are, like God or religion. It could also be due to just pure luck.  As you grow older and hopefully wiser, there will be clues around every situation that you encounter. These clues may be totally obvious to you. They may also be hidden in plain sight. There is no sure fire way to learn how to read and understand these clues. It takes time, effort, experience, and sometimes a gamble.

The reason I wanted to write this post is because I know some people right now who are questioning their Know It All.  Questioning their instincts, if you will. To them I say, go with your gut in conjunction with your heart. What you have learned thus far in life, be it good or bad, can help guide you if you are willing to listen. You are a smart cookie, so don't underestimate yourself. If something seems unattainable, it just might be attainable. If something doesn't feel right and you smell a rat instinctively, then you probably need to re-evaluate.  Try to make wise choices but if you slip up and don't, have enough confidence in yourself to bounce right back up on your feet and keep on going!!

Just................

Today's post is short, simple and to the point. Sometimes I think that is what just needs to be. Things that require much thought or introspection can, from time to time, become more of a burden than a benefit. Life has been so incredibly busy for me of late. We have had company come and stay with us, I have been working on outside projects, volunteering my time for good causes and have also faced injury. At times I wonder what is the point? Why try so hard to make life good? As I pondered those very questions, a few simple reminders came to mind. Let me quickly share them with you.

When you are hungry, eat.

When you are tired, push on.

When you dream, dream big.

When you are happy, enjoy it!

And finally, when you are blessed, be thankful.

Yes, simple concepts indeed, yet so many of us ignore them or even forget their importance. As you finish out your week, I hope you take the time to eat, regain your strength, dream amazing dreams, be happy and in doing so you will find yourself blessed.

Social Media?

As with most folks, I am involved in Social Media. I have had Myspace and Facebook and other social sites that I have used over the years, and for the most part, I enjoyed using them. As I have gotten older, I cut back to using just one. I think the main reason is, that I have realized how valuable time actually is. I had to ask myself, "Do I really need 3 social sites and 3 profiles and 3 accounts to keep up with?" My answer was a definite, "no." Initially when social media first hit the scene, I was like everyone else. I wanted to see what the big deal was, be seen and have something to do with my time. Over the years my priorities shifted, my likes and dislikes changed and so did the things around me. Myspace was my first social network of choice.

Back when Myspace first was introduced it was a platform for networking with new people, finding old friends and making posts about average things you were doing. Not like anyone really cared, but it was still cool at the time. After a few years, I began to mess around with HTML and making custom Myspace pages. I got really good at creating these visually awesome pages that my friends would flock to see. In fact, I even had a thing where I would ask my friends to give me a theme challenge. Over night I would come up with one of their theme ideas. I made themes from Star Wars to the Muppets with raining icons, sparkles, sound and so on. It got to where people loved my pages I created so much that they began to ask me to make a custom page for them. For a couple of years I did just that. A few people got wind of it whom I didn't know and offered to PAY me for my services. It was great! I must have had over 100,000 images downloaded on my computer just FOR that purpose of making custom pages. Facebook showed up on the scene. I was not impressed. There was no way of customizing your page and making it unique and full of visual bling. I passed on subscribing to Facebook for that reason, too boring. More time passed and I found a lot of my people were disappearing. At long last, I joined Facebook and to my chagrin, my lost people were there.

I also found that a lot of my lost family members were on Facebook and had been since its inception. I was thrilled and still am to this day that I was able to finally track some of them down and start reconnecting. Growing up, I rarely got to see any of my northern cousins that were on my Dad's side of the family. 20 years went by after Grandma's funeral before I was able to actually see just one of my cousins and meet his wife. Social media has allowed me to reconnect with a lot of my family with whom I have had little contact for years. We have not seen each other in decades but we are a lot closer now thanks to social media. There is a lot of good that can come out of this type of medium and I don't think anyone will disagree with that. There also can be a lot of unnecessary junk associated though too. Breaking it down into pros and cons I would put it like this:

Pros:  Reconnecting with people

          Meeting new people with common interests

          Having that immediate notification from someone who may need something

          The ability to share important things across the country and the world in seconds

           that would otherwise take forever via snail mail or even email.

           Forums and pages available to educate you more readily

           Being able to share links to Youtube and see the videos play within your page.

Cons:  Negative people

           Drama on your page

           Content that you do not  approve of ( granted you can hide that now as an option )

            Spying factor into your personal business by others and entities

These are just a few examples but for me the good outweighs the bad. I have asked a few people in my network, who reads every single post?  I have also been asked, how do you respond to bad news people share? Do you hurriedly just click LIKE or do you take a minute to comment?  With the involving yourself in social media of any kind, there are responsibilities. You are so exposed to people's lives, intimate details, trials, victories and such that you have to gauge how to respond to them all. My general rule of thumb has served me well. If I see a comment or post that reports bad news, or illness, I take a second and post something instead of just clicking the LIKE button. I admit, I do not read every single post that is put on my page. I scan. The ones that look interesting I will look at more intently. The ones that I just want to shake my head over, I either come back to later or just ignore. Does this mean that I am insensitive? I think not. Everyone has to manage his or her time the best way they can. Some folks have the time to sit online all day and makes posts, comments and share funny things. Others do not. 

One truth that we can not ignore is that when time is gone IT IS GONE! You can never get it back. In our modern technological age, via smart phones and tablets we can easily receive and manage our emails, social media, tweets and so on in a matter of minutes or seconds. For that I am grateful. Like anyone else though, I have to keep in check, how much "time" am I taking on keeping up with everything. Time management for some is a lost cause while for others it is something they feed on and excel at. I am in the latter category. Look, I would have to say that I enjoy technology as much as the next guy, but there is something to be said for simplicity too. Take a little time and examine how much of your time could be spent elsewhere and what benefit that could afford you, then make a conscious effort to step back a bit from emails and tweets and commenting if you need to. I promise you that the world will go on just fine without you for a few hours or even a few days. I have a couple of friends who take breaks from social networking and emails for a season. During those times when they walk away from it all, or even some of it, they tend to find renewal. Renewal of mind, clarity, sense of purpose and are able to better focus on what lies ahead. Consider doing this. Like I said, friends may miss your LOL's or OMG's or smileys, but both you and they will survive. 

Thank you for taking some of your valuable time to read this blog post. I wish you well this week and until next time, check out for a few days! I just might do the same.