As many of you know, the past couple of years brought to my life new challenges, heartache and much much change. Not all of that was a bad thing, as it has opened new doors of opportunity and blessing. For that I am very grateful. Without revisiting the events of the past year or so, I'm just gonna dig right into the here and now and share a little from my heart about this 3rd season of life I now find myself in.
Growing older are those often dreaded words to hear and even moreso to accept. We see our folks do it, family members, co-workers, friends perhaps as well. For the greater majority that I know, being wiling to accept, "Oh crud, I am no spring chicken anymore" is not always easy. I think men even more than women tend to try and hold onto the past, the glory days. High school is still fresh in our minds, the conquests, victories, popularity, accomplishments, and all those things up into college and the 30's that we are still very proud of. Looking back, I am no different. High school was an amazing time. The accomplishments in music, choir, hiking, adventure seeking, street racing, yes I did that, dating cool gals, running the roads with little common sense as my mental seatbelt, all are memories I will hold fast to until my last days.
So the way I see things, Life has basically 4 seasons to it. No I'm not referring to Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter in a literal Earthly seasonal sense, BUT...….We do have to live through "seasons."
The first I'll call The Formative Years. This is from birth to say early adulthood. The time when you must figure out the basics to survive. The second season I'll call, Put it into Practice. Early adulthood through middle age. This era is when what you learned prior really must kick in. Paired with that information are new forms of input, learning, adaptation, problem solving skillsets, success And failures. For a lot of folks this is the season of starting a family, establishing your career and what not. Now, season 3. I debated on calling this the, What the Heck Do I Do Now season, but after some thought, let's just call it, Let the Leaves Fall.
I'll get to season 4, the final journey in a bit. Now, let me talk a little about Letting the Leaves Fall. Although there are many days I still feel invincible, powerful and bulletproof, the years have crept up and I have entered that 3rd season of life. What does that mean? What should that look like? Well, it means that some of the thoughts, beliefs, expectations that I have held onto so tightly until now may need to change or be amended. Recalibration is a good term for it. As a guy, a proud, confident guy, I will always want to think I am still handsome, in shape, mentally and physically gifted among other things. In a lot of ways that is still the case, mostly. In this 3rd season of life however, a guy especially has to begin to embrace changes and stop fighting them so darn much. Things like gaining a little weight, hair thinning in spots, not having the flexibility you used to, OR the metabolism you used to, all are changes that are unavoidable.
So what should this season look like? Let me preface my answer with a little here and now status update, just so we can be on the same page when it comes to really thinking bout all of this. So, I am now an uncle, and a papaw, don't have kids at home to raise, and many things, causes, events that I used to pour so much time into, well those have fallen by the wayside. Some of these things have waned by choice and a few others by happenstance. A year or 2 back, I was running several groups online in a social media arena, tending to a lot of people's needs, daily activities, being kind of the cheerleader and counselor/mentor in charge of several topics and beliefs that seemed very important at the time. Even had been asked few years ago to start a local Tourettes chapter, which I did with some reluctance. I will say, and this is so hard to admit, but, during the course of events this past couple of years, that group of amazing people, I let down. Got to a point where I didn't know if I was coming or going so how in the world could I facilitate and meet their needs?? Regaining that active, engaging daily rhetoric, I honestly do not know how to do. Anyway, that is something I am having to figure out. Moooo-ving on, as the cow would say.
So, here I sit at this new juncture in life. I don't really know what I'm doing and that's okay. In fact, that's probably part of the fun of it all. Being able to be a bit more spontaneous, like waking my wife up at 2 a.m. so we can run up and get a milkshake from Whataburger, or driving down to catch the sun set on the river on a whim, making brownies at 7 in the morning. These are great things that you cannot easily do with your plate overly full and kids at home. Now I have the opportunity to spoil grandkids, be the fun and playful uncle, be a huge benefit to my wife, love on our dogs more, take care of my mom and hers. Yes, the daily must do's are still around, but we tackle that together. Having the wife and partner who will wash dishes, cook with you, work around the house, the yard, shop, or just catch a ballgame, man, that's pure gold!
This year saw the passing of my amazing Grandmother, as well as my uncle. Also there was getting my mother moved over here to my town, getting her house sold. Now we are in the middle of Grandma's house being sold after having to work so hard sorting, boxing, rehoming, moving furniture and prepping her house to be sold. It has been an emotionally tough year to say the least. Doors have opened and continue to open daily. I have a new church home this year, I'm playing in the band, having made some wonderful new friends in the process. We have a new puppy who is turning out to be such a smart lil guy and loving to boot. Life has simplified greatly. Up until this spring, I was on the go 20 hours a day, trying to be all things to all people. I had to step way back, not because I stopped loving those persons, but I was empty. You cannot feed or water someone else's soul if yours is running on empty. Stepping back does not make you heartless. It took some real soul searching, prayer and confirmation to truly realize that.
I love to write. I love to share with people. I love to encourage, bring about smiles. So much of that has been remiss until this summer. In this season of Letting the Leaves fall, I am learning what to make priority and what to make as optional. I will always desire to love on people, do for them, meet needs, pray over them, go see them, give helping hands best I can, go and do and be busy. But, if it comes at a cost of killing myself mentally, emotionally, physically? Are you really helping at all in the grand scheme? For 50 years, I have tackled life, not wavering, not cutting corners, fighting battles that some cannot fathom. Through it all, I am still here. I am blessed. God has seen me through so so much. There is no way to ever repay Him for his mercy, His blessing, His direction. Am I perfect? No way! I am content. Content for the first time in a long time, knowing I am where I am meant to be, doing what I am meant to do. So, if accepting that I'm not 16 anymore, accepting that my life's experiences and wisdom are valid and have value to be shared, accepting that a different pace with a different focus IS what is needed, so be it. Bring on this new season! I am ready, willing and mostly able. Ha!
Oh, what's season 4 you have reminded me to explain? Okay, season 4, I'll call The Credits. As a former film/tv major, I am very familiar with credits. At the end of a tv show or a film, credits roll by showing and acknowledging who did what in the production. Bob Smith may be listed as Gaffer. Suzanne Meyers may be listed as CG operator. Monica Lewis may be Videography Editor and so on. You see, most people when they see the credits start rolling by, they assume, "yep, it's over." NOT TRUE!! Season 4 of our lives is the same. The Credits means letting those watching you acknowledge what you've done, and you doing the same to others. What we have, what we have accomplish, what we STILL do and accomplish, all are part of our "credits." I'm not there yet, but someday, if the good Lord tarries long enough, I will be. My credit roll will display so much about my life. I hope at whatever season of life you are in right now. you embrace it whole heartedly. I'll close by sharing this link to a pretty good article that summarizes why your should embrace the stage and season of life you are currently in.
Fall (the season) is in the air. Days have slowly begun to get a little cooler. Soon leaves will change color, shape, and some will fall and crumble on the ground. All part of life. Now, you go, go and enjoy this Fall, all that you are, and all that others are as well. Be kind, be polite, and always show love.
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