What Life has Taught

Life is an inevitable fact for everyone drawing breath. There is no way to avoid it once you exit the birth canal and there is no way to avoid the impact it has on you OR the impact you have on life itself. When I sit and ponder a moment about life, my life, I can't help but think of some things that have molded me, changed me and have left me a better person. I want to share with you just a few basic things that Life has taught in the hopes that you might agree or might feel inspired to search out the same thoughts in your own life.

Throughout our lifetime, no matter its length, we all encounter happiness, sadness, joy, pain, laughter, choices, consequences, victory and defeat. How we handle or deal with each of these things is subject to our own interpretation or simply to how we were taught to perceive them. Thinking about different parts of my life that span different eras, time frames and decades, a few things come to mind that I feel are worth mentioning. One can break down life experiences and perceptions into a few, point blank categories.

Simpilicty:

There are times that you just need it simple. Times when a generic ON/OFF button will suffice and is preferred. Times when doing less means more. Times when not knowing the answers is the best. Times when a child can teach you something magical and important. Times when you need to act like a child.

Convenience:

When you live in close proximity to family or anyone else in your household or time is of the essence, there are certain convenient items that make a huge difference in the day to day. Microwaves. Microwaves are great! Sure, taking time to actually cook on the stove or in the oven may lend itself to a better, healthier meal, but man, having food ready to eat in minutes verses hours is priceless. When you have a hungry family or room mates, speedy food preparation can be a big benefit. Coffee pots. Again, boiling water on the stove the old school way will always work, but being able to put in a couple scoops, pour in some water, hit start and have coffee "come forth" as you shower, shave or do other tasks is great. What about things that help keep peace in your house hold? Padded toilet seats. Yep, that's what I said. When you have a light sleeper in the house and your bathroom that you use is close to that person trying to sleep, I don't care who you are, the act of putting a toilet lid up or down without a sound is not as easy task. If you are half asleep, this task is even more difficult. Padded seat and lid, problem solved! Doors. I am not a big fan of doors. I am not shy in the least and feel that if you are family or are close enough to share everything else, that doors can sometimes prove to be more of a barrier than not. Yes, privacy at certain times IS an issue, but then again, that is easily solved by opening your mouth and just telling the other person, "hey, give me a minute."  Doors do help though to keep your roomies dog out of your stuff and also allow a way for a teenager to pout in peace.

Stupidity:

We have ALL done stupid things. For me, I think I was most stupid when I was a teenager. There are things that I did that should have gotten me killed, jailed or grounded until yesterday. Building a ramp on top of the house roof so you can jump your bike off of it into the pool, not smart but stupid. Street racing at top speed chasing a girl in a Porsche wearing a bikini, not smart, but stupid. Swimming beside a huge cruise ship in the Panama Canal when the draft of the ship could pull you wiskfully into the propellers, not smart but stupid. Jumping on the back of a sleeping bull in the middle of a field just to see what happens, not smart but stupid. Okay, Mom, deep breath!! I survived and learned my lesson as it were! Other things that rank at stupid might have been choices in relationships, ones that you knew might end up hurting you or others but you dove head long into them anyway, yea not smart but stupid. Even though I willfully did some stupid things, these choices and experiences helped me learn the do's and do nots, molded me into a much smarter adult and in some strange ways, kept me out of trouble.

Employment:

Sometimes we do not really get to choose what type of work we do. There are times when we apply for certain jobs we like or dream of and they just don't come to fruition. For me, I will never forget my first job. I was 15 and a brand new Hardee's was being built close to home in Bartlett, Tennessee. Like any teen, I wanted to make some mad money. I went down, applied, was hired on the spot and spent the next 2 1/2 years working nearly full time. I remember within my first 6 months there that my Manager, Mark Guinn, offered me the Assistant Manager position. The pay was great and even came with a company car, a VW Golf. To do this job though I would have had to drop out of high school and commit to crazy hours and either put on the back burner all the things I loved or would have had to totally abandon them. I opted not to take that position because my love of music and being in show choirs and ensembles and competitions all were leading me to a career hopefully in music and I loved them all. Music was my saving grace, what I was best at and something that to me was sacred. During college I worked doing maintenance at one of the biggest churches in our area in Florida. Did that 3 years. From there situations came about that were beyond my control and my job choices became very limited. I lost the ability to speak at all for over 5 years and during that time there was no way to utilize my college degree in Tv/Film Production. So, manual labor became the only option. Over the years I went through different types of employ mostly due to health limitations. I don't regret any of them. Each one, though vastly different, really developed me as a person. One benefit of doing manual labor in construction and maintenance was that I never really had to go to the gym. I was strong as an ox, fit, had very developed muscles and a lot of people I knew envied that. The down side was that my body was being destroyed joint by joint, tendon by tendon. I am now on disability and have been for a number of years due to my Tourettes, Tardive Dyskinesia and Fibromyalgia. I would have loved to be at one job for my entire career and been able to retire with a great pension and all of those perks, but that was not the course laid out for me. It's all good. I am where I am meant to be and for that I am grateful.

Activities:

At whatever any age as we grow up and meander through life, we have a choice of activities we involve ourselves in. For me, it was mostly music, camping, rock climbing, spelunking, sky diving, snorkeling, biking, hiking, horses, motorcycles, wood working, crafting, mechanicing, and many other activities. Here again, some part of these choices involved stupid again, but in a different way. Maybe it was in the fact that I really couldn't afford to go out and buy new camping gear. Or maybe it was that camping in the middle of nowhere with just a sleeping bag and no tent was not that bright when there were wild boars and panthers known to be in the area. These are just two examples. Our activities in a way do define us. Each person likes different things. To each his own. When I was a kid, my parents bought me a go cart. I drove the wheels off of that thing all over the neighborhood. Of course, back then it was permissible and no big deal. I would rig up a wagon train of literal red flyer wagons, about 6 of them hooked together and take all my buddies for jaunts around the neighborhood. It was awesome! Now a days, the majority of my activities involve helping other people, offering encouragement, a listening ear, writing this blog, writing music, shooting, and most importantly spending quality time with my family.

You know, there are endless quotes from famous persons in history about Life. I think some of these quotes are just gems and embody so much truth. There are quotes also that we ourselves can come up with that are unique just to us that have just as much merit as those that are famous. I am amused by the fact that certain celebrities have made quotes about life, living, coping and other things that they really don't have any more idea about than we do. I find it awkward that people like Madonna have published children's books. Life is, as I already mentioned, unavoidable. We can choose to go through our life with our head in the sand, or locked in a room or fully submersed in it with a gung ho attitude. When we are documenting our life, it is vital to realize that we ARE documenting our life whether we know it or not. Some people purposely leave their mark and experiences through the medium of writing. Others do it through the display of tattoos that visibly show stories and events that person has been through. Others still, simply document their life in their internal memories. I think one of the best ways to document life as a whole or even your life is with the use of photographs. I know the actual act of inserting film rolls, getting them developed, cropping them and storing them in albums is a waning idea, but thanks to digital media and the invent and development of digital cameras, even that is a viable option these days. We take a lot of photos. For us the convenience of having that immediate visible memory is priceless. As we all age, I will say, I truly feel it is important to find some way of capturing your life. The activities we choose, our employment history, the conveniences we enjoy, the stupidity we endure and the simplistic things we embrace all will leave an indelible mark on our world and those who follow behind us.  No matter what you do or how you choose to do it, just remember that our LIFE is visible to others, now and in the future. It is okay to have remnants of bad choices, poor decisions. It is also okay to have remnants of our successes and victories after trials. To wrap this up, don't sit on the sidelines. Be actively involved in your life. I think this saying below sums it up perfectly.

As you move forward, remembering your past and all of its good and bad, don't forget to follow your heart, but take your brain with you! Carpe Diem!! Seize this day!

Your Spring has Sprung

It is that time of year when people, animals and nature in general, begin to celebrate. Warmth, fairer days, and new life that has been waiting in the wings, can now step out into the light. Spring. It is officially here! For so many around our country, this winter was among the roughest and most severe on record. Temps in negative digits in areas that rarely see the teens, blizzard after blizzard ransacking the mid west plains and Atlantic seaboard, and snow and ice storms in Florida, tested the last nerve of us all it seemed. So, now on the calendar, winter should be over and we are now out of the woods and on to greener pastures. Not so fast! Spring brings a lot of wonderful things, no doubt. But, are all of them good? Are all of them needed? I would say "yes" to both of those questions and here is why.

After such a daunting season of winter, emotionally and physically we may feel a bit broken. Our spring inside that helps us bound over and through things may have sustained damage or even reached its breaking point. Times of intense effort physically, we all know can break us, literally. They can slow us to a crawl or even to a complete grinding halt. For me, the coldness of the past few months here in Florida did not bode well with my body. I've ached and hurt more than I have in years simply due to the drastic temperature swings we endured.  But we go on, we adjust and we take the measures needed to survive, physically. The other side of an unusual season is our emotional side. Depression can more easily find its way through the cracks and crevices. It can worm its way in through our armor that we think is pretty invincible and eat away at us like a corpse. This is a sad and devastating state to be in. There is no quick cure, no "swallow this" and it will all go away. One of the best ways to stave off a depressed mindset is to DO something. Find something to occupy your mind. I'm not saying go immerse yourself in a crowd of people that will make you retreat deeper into your depression, but do immerse yourself in something positive.

Okay, in this season of the year there are things like March Madness happening that bring a dramatic close to a great NCAA basketball season. There is also the beginning of spring training in both football and baseball which signifies the start of perhaps something great. There is new growth on the trees, grass popping up everywhere and the birds and bees are busy with their families raising their new offspring. There is reason to renew or even find that "SPRING" in your step once again. If you make the choice to go for a walk, feel the light airy breezes, smell the roses as it were, watch a ballgame or just sit in a park and people watch, a healing from deep within can occur. And it is good. Yes, it has been tough. Yes, things like the weather, the economy, relationships could have been better. Now, you can get that fresh start. Now, you can shake off the unwanted things that are dragging you down. Now, you can set your feet on a path to not just better days, but perhaps even the best days you have yet to see.

We all have to experience that dark to better appreciate the light. What I want for each of you reading this blog, is for you to experience new growth, happiness and an outlook that tickles you within. You might need to make some changes, changes in friends, things you do, or maybe even big changes like location or who you choose to be with. If people and situations are not feeding you, and feeding you healthy stuff, then they need to go. We can be fed all the time by things that surround us. Is it good to live on a "pizza" diet 24/7 in actuality or in our emotional menu? Not at all. Just like too much red meat, too much candy, too much of anything can do more harm than good, everything we ingest in life needs to equate to a good balance.

If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall.  ~Nadine Stair

The seasons are what a symphony ought to be:  four perfect movements in harmony with each other.  ~Arthur Rubenstein

The year's at the spring
And day's at the morn;
Morning's at seven;
The hillside's dew-pearled;
The lark's on the wing;
The snail's on the thorn;
God's in His heaven -
All's right with the world!
~Robert Browning


All is right with the world. Wouldn't that be amazing! That day may never come, but in the mean time while we still hope for that day, let's find a way to heal our self, plant seed that comes forth in plenty, and take care of who we are, who we are meant to be.

Should you be in the quagmire of depression, even just a little, here are a few things that you can do to get back on track:

Recognize your own destructive critical self attacks

To begin this process, think of these thoughts as being like the parasites that keep you in bed when you're sick with the flu. Don't listen to these attacks when they tell you not to pursue your goals, to isolate yourself, or to forego and activity you enjoy. This gives the voice even more power over you. Instead, when you notice these thoughts and attitudes starting to intensify, and take precedence over your more realistic, positive ways of thinking, it is essential to identify them as and alien point of view. 

Don't isolate yourself

When depressed, you may hear thoughts telling you to be alone, keep quiet and not to bother people with your problems. When you feel bad, even if you feel embarrassed, confiding in a friend or voicing your struggles can lighten your burden and begin a process of ending your unhappiness. Go to a place where there are people who may have similar interests as you, or even to a public spot like a museum, park or mall, where you could enjoy being amongst people. Never allow yourself to indulge in the thought that you are different from or less than anyone else. Everyone struggles at times, and your depression does not define who you are or single you out from others. 

Don't punish yourself for feeling bad

Feeling embarrassed or self-hating over your depression will only increase your symptoms and discourage you from seeking help. Your critical thoughts toward yourself will try to keep you down any way they can, including attacking you for feeling down. It's important to take your side and have compassion for yourself at these difficult times. You can be curious, open, accepting, and loving toward yourself, a much more appropriate attitude.

( To view this article in its entirety please cut and paste this link into your browser:  http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/compassion-matters/201110/eight-ways-actively-fight-depression)

We are created with a spring in our step. Even if our spring is broken, it can be fixed. It can be new again. As the weather outside continues to evolve in warmer, sunnier days, I do hope that the forecast within is also as magical. Welcome, Spring! We are SO glad you are back.

The Fort and the Lighthouse

Well, this week my son is out of school for Spring Break. With the small amount of hours a day kids actually spend in school now, I often wonder, " a break from what?" But, they do deserve some time off once in a while. Anyway, speaking of the word break, yesterday I took Wesley to experience and see something that has yet to really break. We went to one of our local 1800's era forts. On the Naval base here is located Fort Barrancas. This is a mid 1800's era fort that is mostly underground and boasts passageways, barricaded rooms, bars and hidden places.

I was so excited to share this with Wesley but when we arrived at the visitor center the sign on the door said that the fort was now only open on Saturdays. Naturally we were both bummed. Around the grounds there at the fort are some nature trails though. We opted to hike a 1/2 mile loop and see what was out there. It was great. Massive live oaks, birds of all types flitting about and other things unique to the area abound. After we did the loop, Wesley was all hyped up and anxious to do more! Across the road about 1/2 mile is the site of another part of the fort system called Absolute Redoubt. What that means, I really don't know, but none the less, we headed that direction to go and explore. What an awesome playground for a boy's body and mind.

 To fathom that these structures that were made so many decades ago have endured floods, hurricanes, attacks from cannon fire and mortars and still stand nearly complete blows me away. Wesley was almost speechless as he bounded along tempting fate with every jump and leap. This area is under lock and key 95% of the time and only open for tours once a week at a specific time. As frustrating as that was, we made a concerted effort anyway to find a way in. Every door was locked and secured and that is a good thing. Wesley and I are both pretty adventurous and more than likely would have explored every inch inside the place would it have been possible.

As we roamed about we peered into the tiny openings in the walls, looking into near darkness hoping to see something of what lies hidden behind those walls. We walked in the overgrown trenches, climbed down into the many levels of the fort and even took time for cool photo ops. The weather yesterday was advertised by the local weatherman to be sunny and a warm 70 degrees. Boy did they blow that forecast! It was 45 degrees and windy with cloud cover. I am so glad that there were jackets for the both of us in the truck. Maybe that is a benefit to keeping some things IN the truck all the time, like fishing gear, blankets, some tools and apparently extra clothing. As the day began to warm and the sun started to peek out from behind the clouds, my boy and I kept marching along not missing a single window or hole to examine. In the middle of this fort is a much taller, double story section that is very grand in its appearance. I'm sure there had to be a way to get on top of it but we were not lucky enough to figure that out. As you traverse around the fort, on the west side is a huge drawbridge and wooden door. This thing is amazing not only to look at but in an engineering way as well. This entrance seems to be the only way into the large middle structure. I guess the tours once a week may allow you access to this area. Hopefully we can go soon and enjoy that tour.

Wesley had no fear all morning. He romped around, running through the tall weeds and grass while jumping over trenches and the like but, there was something about this huge doorway that he just didn't feel comfortable with. Maybe it was the sheer size of it or maybe it reminded him of the tales of dragons and drawbridges and moats. I'm glad though that I was able to get him to cooperate for this great photo.

There are a number of haunted places here in this part of Florida. Fort Pickens is one and so is Fort Barrancas and the Pensacola Lighthouse. I am not a big believer in ghosts in general but I won't discount it totally either. As we were walking back around the fort headed towards the parking lot, curiosity got the better of me and I decided to put my arm in one of the slits in the brick walls and snap a picture with my cell phone, just to hopefully see what was there in the darkness. The first shot I took came out okay but it just showed a large empty room with an unusual round swing out door. I took another immediately afterwards, reaching in a few inches further. In this second photo we caught what we are convinced is a ghost in this picture! Yep, when you look at it, nothing else makes real sense. Haunted? This has my curiosity up now for sure. The white floating mass that looks like smoke we think is a ghost. What do you think??

Excited and a bit tired from our exploring, we decided to go on yet another mini adventure and go tour the haunted lighthouse on base. This is one of the oldest lighthouses in the U.S. I believe and has been listed among some of the most haunted places in America. In fact, Ghost Hunters (TAPS) did a show and investigation here a few years back. The history of the Pensacola Lighthouse is very interesting. I won't go into all of that here, but you can search it on Google and read up on its history and current status.

Inside the Keeper's Home are museum pieces that tell about the lighthouse and display many original artifacts from the original time frame when it was built and functioning. There are several different floors that make up the quarters, from the dry goods cellar to the actual Keeper's rooms up to the upper floors which are now offices. When you get to the actual lighthouse area you immediately see a somewhat dark and eerie tower with an old ornate iron stairway that spirals up 177 steps to the top. If you take your time and stop to look out the several windows on the way up, the climb is not that taxing. Once at the top, the view is simply amazing. On a clear day, visibility is close to 13 miles.  My little man had been terrified of heights, even sitting on my shoulders just 2 years ago, so to see him fearlessly at the edge of the platform gazing down made me grin. As you look in different directions you can look out over the beach area and see Fort Pickens, the sister fort, and then to the North you overlook for flight line for the famous Blue Angels and beyond. It is amazing.

To end our outing for the day, we walked out to the beach that fronts the pass from the Pensacola bay. Wow! Although there aren't the waves like the real beach on the Gulf of Mexico boasts, it still is beautiful. We lingered a bit and then headed back toward town to meet the Grandma's for lunch. I am so happy to have been able to share yet another unique experience with my boy. There is so much to see and do almost anywhere you call home. It just takes a little creativity in some places, to find what is unique and enjoy it. Who knows what the rest of Spring break will bring, but I am ready and excited to see it unfold!

It's Universal!

There are many things in life that are universal and many things that can be controlled or handled with some universal item or idea. How often do we purchase a television or a DVD player and then down the line our remote either breaks or gets lost? It has happened to me more times than I care to count. If you go on the internet or call the manufacturer you can order a replacement remote in most cases. The cost to do so is where a lot of people have a problem. Thankfully, inventors and manufacturers around the world chose to throw their hat in the ring in this area of damaged or missing remote control devices. They came up with ones that are universal, meaning they will work on hundreds of televisions, DVD players, stereo systems and cable boxes and have priced these replacement remotes at bargain prices. Whew, that is great news! Sure you have to take a little time to find the correct IR code and program the new remote, but what you are saving on the price of a factory one is well worth that time invested.

Beyond universal remotes, I can think of several other things that are universally recognized the world over. Can you think of any? Everyone has heard music of some type no matter if you live in the middle of Nashville or in the deepest remote jungle. It may not be current music by industry standards, but even tribal singing and chanting is music in its own right. I have yet to meet anyone who is not affected in some way by the sound of music. I have my favorite types of music that make my heart leap for joy, bring tears to my face and even whisk  me off to some magical place far from reason. There are styles of music though that I really don't care for. I can appreciate almost any form of music, having come from a musical background. Some I question as to why on Earth was THIS put together while others simply make sense from the first few measures. Music is international. It may even be interstellar. Music makes a person emote in one way or the other.  Music can calm, intercede or even elevate emotions of anger and drive men into battle. On the flip side, there have been studies that indicate that even animals and certain organic plants benefit from different types of musical input. Fascinating!

In my mind there are a couple of other things that are universal. Certain road signs and symbols are used worldwide and nearly anyone who has seen one somewhere will be able to recognize it elsewhere. Some of these signs could be signage for a restroom, a boat ramp, a camping area. Others might be symbols of danger, bio-hazard or the typical NO sign. No matter where we travel throughout our life's journey, signs and symbols are all around us. It is a good thing, in my opinion, that there is not a learning curve dependent on where you are geographically.

Yep, remotes, music and signs can be universal. There are two other things that have come to mind that are on a more directly related human note. What are they? Picture this. You walk into a room of people you know. Your friends and family there are happy to see you. So, what do they do to let you know that? What universal sign do they give you to assure you that you are welcomed and loved? A simple smile is that sign. Even among strangers, once one person shares a smile it is contagious. Everyone in the world knows what a smile is and what it means. Smiles can bring joy, peace, comfort, giddiness and laughter. Smiles can also convey sympathy, acceptance and intimacy. They are universally recognized. I heard a saying years ago, and though I have no clue where the saying came from, it holds true. It goes like this. "Smile and people will wonder what you are up to." Funny, but in our human nature it is true. There are those people we all know, that when they bust out a smile you automatically think that they are up to no good. Others, you just know they are up to nothing BUT good. There is something in a smile that makes me happy, gives me hope and eases my mind. For that I am thankful.

 In life, it is important to be happy. Happiness in who you are, what you are doing and happiness in different situations is really a gift. It does takes work. I think for me, a smile is a great indicator of kindness and that in turn encourages me to be happy. Your life choices once again are also important variables playing a big role in our happiness. Okay, so we know that remote controls, music, signs and smiles are all universal. In the grain of happiness, there is one last thing I want to throw your way. People can help make you happy. Through their smiles and kindness you can feel good intention. Animals, dogs in particular, also do the exact same thing. Maybe they can't really smile in the way that we can but they have unique universal ways of showing you that they truly care. If you have never been licked by a dog you are missing out. When you define love, there are many different ways to describe it. The type of love a dog can offer is most closely related to agape love. This is an unconditional, forgiving all kind of love. With the wagging of a tail and the nuzzling of a wet nose, a dog can totally transform your attitude. You come home from work and you have had a horrible day, your car had issues, your kids are going buck wild and your dog, well, he knows that you have had it. Within a few minutes, if you let him, he will give you all the therapy you need to turn your day around. Oh, if we were more like dogs. Even when they are abused or neglected, within them still is a desire to show love and to please.

When God made dogs, I think he went above and beyond. Granted other animals and pets can transform you as well, but there is something to the adage, man's best friend. People from all four corners of the globe spend time and money seeing therapists and psychologists to help them cope with their problems. This has been going on for centuries. I know there are honest to God times when only this type of intervention will help but I also know that there is a lot of free, genuine therapy in the heart of a pet too. This last picture I want to share, I think really sums this last point up perfectly.

No matter what you face in your travels, whether you are needing to replace your TV remote, you are looking for the right sign to get you where you need to go, you are needing a soothing song, or even someone to offer up a smile, be thankful that these things are out there to help you get by. Our day to day can be a challenge. There is no easy road for sure. But there are these amazing tools, ideas, gestures of help and hope that can most assuredly get us to another day. Enjoy the view, smell some roses and lavish some loving by your pet and you will be just fine.

Late Bloomers

When your friends are shaving their faces because they already have stubble or your girlfriend is having a growth spurt under her blouse and you are still stuck the same as you've been for seemingly years, you might think you are a late bloomer. What exactly is a late bloomer? Well, typically this speaks of someone who matures later in life physically. Someone who goes through puberty much later than friends or siblings do, or a person, guy or girl, who may be unusually short in comparison to their peers may be called a late bloomer. Have you ever thought of what "other" things that may can be labeled as blooming late? Hmmm.

Growing up we all have had those awkward periods when we began to discover armpit hair, body changes, voice changes or just awkwardness in our coordination. This is all normal and everyone goes through it. I remember in middle school, I had a friend named Laura. All the other girls made fun of her and teased her for having hairy legs. Her parents would not let her shave her legs until she was older, say in high school at least. After 2 years of the teasing, she came to school one day and was as smooth and silky as her gal pals. She had the band aids spottedly place on her legs but her smile was so huge that no one really noticed them. This was a big deal and a coming of age for her.

For me, I had friends in high school who could grow a full beard their freshman year. I was SO intimidated!! I so wanted to be able to get rid of my baby face and don some fuzziness. I thought that would change everything! It wasn't until I was in my college years that facial grooming had to really start happening. My dad in fact could hardly grow anything more than a scattered mustache and certainly not a full beard. I remember him telling me over and over again that I shouldn't even think of having a beard because HE was never able to. Funny how life and the gene pool work out. I can grow a beard with the best of them and I really like the look it gives me and the feel of it as well certain times of the year. I grew up as a singer. All throughout my school age years I sang in choirs, ensembles, small groups, did musical theater and the like. I was fortunate enough that my voice change happened quickly and only made my singing voice more desirable. I've seen a lot of young people who were amazing singers when they were younger, one example is Declan. You can search him on YouTube. His song Tell Me Why is still breathtaking. As he passed through puberty, his voice, well, it didn't do him any favors. He had to adapt and adopt an entire new genre of music to fit what he THEN had grown into. Late Bloomers. Yes, on most all fronts it refers to the physical part of a person. What I want to throw at you is the possibility  and actuality of there being late bloomers mentally and emotionally. While growing up, we fell in and out of love often. We had our first crushes, the ones that broke our hearts and the ones that we will never forget. Beyond that we have all had to look at our growth in choices and our attaining of wisdom.

 As young people we had to learn, some by what we were taught, and some by what we experienced through "on the job training" as it were, what good choices actually meant and what consequence the bad choices might bring. The older people get, we have the ability to learn how to choose more wisely the things that benefit us. Yea, we still make bad choices as adults and as parents, husbands and wives and even as employees and friends. How we choose affects more than just us. Sometimes when we make bad decisions,  we can sever or destroy good friendships, burn bridges and even sabotage our entire life. I know I have done all of the above. Some of my bad decisions I can honestly attribute to not having enough wisdom to make the smarter choices. I think one of the key things we need to do is to be willing to seek out more wisdom from others, resources, and any other tools that are available. There will never be a sign that simply says, "this way to wisdom."

If only it was that easy! Many, many famous persons throughout history were not wise and got by on their common sense. I think they were very fortunate. Others totally grasped the concept of the need for wisdom and spent a great deal of time in pursuing that knowledge. You can search and find all kinds of quotes on wisdom. They are a dime a dozen. Until you actually take some of them to heart, you are kind of like someone who is book smart but who has never applied what he has learned in a real life application.

To truly be the best we can be, late bloomer or not, we MUST choose to be smarter day after day. It is a conscious effort that requires sacrifice, determination and trial and error. This quote to the right is so true. You have to know yourself first. I know situations can arise that leave you really wondering who you are and what you are doing. Take those and learn from them, but first of all, take a little time to regroup. You don't need to have your head all the way tightly screwed on to move forward. You just might have to go forward with a little less break neck speed. It will come. The only people, in my experience, who really just don't get it, don't desire to improve or find solid ground are the ones who have either given up or the ones who never began that quest to begin with. Human beings are amazing creations. Our minds are limitless. Don't compromise by saying "I can't!"  Maybe just say, "I can't, just yet." Believe in yourself, even when you don't want to. There is no mistake too large or no choice too disastrous that you cannot come back from and be a better, more complete, content person. A wise man knows when to speak and when to listen, but a fool babbles constantly in his pursuit. Go and boldly seek your wisdom for this day, this week, this month, this year and beyond. I promise ya, you will like the result!

Behind the Shower Curtain

The movie "Psycho" probably just popped in your head.  Lol. I totally get that. But, this post has nothing to do with serial killers or people hiding in our showers. Sorry to disappoint. Sometimes, just for fun or out of sheer boredom, I search the internet for unusual things. Did you know that there are decals for your toilet seat that have things like spiders, monsters and snakes on them?? Yea, at first glance it looks like these "things" are right there or are coming out of the toilet bowl to get you! Other things that I have found by happenstance are bed sheets and linens that look like packing crates or have supermodel bodies on them minus the head.  Odd. For me, individuality is an awesome thing. The freedom to be creative and stand out in your own way is priceless. I know people whose home is their show place. It is like the Louvre or the Taj Mahal. I have seen people that so elegantly decorate that even their bathrooms are like works of art.

On the other hand, I know people who use their spaces as a comfort, an extension of who they really are. This is more the type of person that I am. A bit of whimsy, eclectic style and diversity speaks volumes in our house and in our life. I am the type of person that even if money was no object, I could not and would not spend $300 dollars for a bath towel or a shower curtain rod. Sure, you want things to be nice and functional, who doesn't? But excessive? Yea, not my style. Growing up in the 80's there were few choices as far as bathroom or even kitchen things went. You had the basic hand towels, the general soap dishes, the usual pot holders etc. These days though, if you can imagine it, it is probably out there.  Have you seen the social media bathroom decor?? Or the texting code shower curtains? These things are great!! I think too often, we get caught up in the "if it's on a tv show" or "a celebrity has this" then I have to have it too. Why be cookie cutter or totally predictable? Why keep up with the Jones'?  Be an individual!! 

Now this is refreshing. If you cannot enjoy what you have then why have it. It would be like having mannequins all around your house sporting the latest high end fashions. If you have such a need to show off in that way then perhaps you might have a deeper issue to look at. Just sayin'.  I see posts that friends share on Facebook about these magnificent homes, gardens, cars and other things and they comment "OMG, I would totally die for this!"  I see other friends, who are like me, who post a simple log cabin off the grid somewhere, a simple hanging food plot or a classic old school truck. Nothing fancy. Ahhh, those are the posts I really relate to. I know what you are saying. I have a problem with affluent people. Not at all. I have many friends and family members who are very well off. They honestly enjoy the fine things life has to offer. I could not be happier for them. If that is the way they choose to spend their monies and those things tickle their pickle, fantastic!! Give me a cabin in the woods, with my family, my dog and fresh air and to me that is beyond priceless. The whole beauty of diversity between people is just that. Diversity.....the ability and right to choose as you see fit. Epic. There is no doubt that the things people choose, from the cars they drive to the homes they live in all speak volumes as to the character of the heart. I love technology but at the same time I also love the old adage, Keep It Simple Stupid.  

Maybe I am a dying breed. Who knows. But if that is the case, I embrace my ever increasing rarity with open arms. What I hope we all take from this simple post today is to not be afraid to express yourself. I am not saying go out streaking through the downtown main street, but rather to let some of YOU show through in all that you do. Don't be confined to what others say you should be like or what you should do. There are few musts in our world and most of those are based on legality or religious choices. Both are valid in the proper context. Be expressive, be creative and this will help you to be happy. You can be the richest person on the planet and be miserable. Those who are the richest, are the ones richest is spirit. Let people see what is behind your shower curtain once in a while. We can be respectful of others, our parents and family members and still do this. I am living proof of this concept. We don't need to go off though and be ridiculous like Mike Tyson and tattoo our face or dress like KISS all day though either. There should be a healthy balance in our expressiveness. Over in Europe there is a much more free societal outlook on things. For example, the sight of a bare breasted woman feeding her baby is no big deal. Cultural morays are widely different there than here on our shores. I am not saying that one trumps the other but  it is perhaps more what you are accustomed to. In Germany, graffiti is seen more as art while here it is more of a thug, gang iconic perception. It is curious to me that the same thing only differentiated by geographic location has such different meaning. In the tribal areas of South America the way people interact is questionably different as well. We have some limitations here in America that forbid certain types of creativity. That is not all bad. At the same time, however, it is not all good. What is good for the goose is not always good for the gander, as the saying goes. By using some moral compass and ethical discernment, no matter your location, you can find your sense of diversity. Having shock value or purposely offending someone is not my cup of tea, but embracing what is within us, our God given uniqueness is great. As I said, I like technology. My mom on the other hand likes it simple. An off and on button and she is happy. I respect that. Anyway, just remember in your pursuit of individuality that the bare bones of who we are can be priceless!!

The Fish and the Farm

Over past couple of weeks we have all been through some sort of sickness or health issues. When you are down and out with a cold, stomach virus or even a bad back, you tend to be stuck inside way more than you might would like. I know that is true for me. When the sun is out, I want to be out. When the rain is falling I want to be out, under some cover like on the porch, but out none the less. When the birds are chirping and squirrels are scurrying about, yep, I want to be out there. Throughout the course of human history there were times when man as a species had no choice but to BE outside. I do value the indoors and what it affords, don't get me wrong, yet it is the caveman in my nature that would rather be without walls. 

The past week and a half I have been able to get out and do some outdoor things. We had company in town, so of course with any growing boy, we all piled up and took him to the local park. The kids swinging, and the pelicans and seagulls flying overhead while the ducks were swimming in the nearby river, were a nice and welcomed treat. We enjoyed this time in nature a lot as a family. In the days to follow, company was off to their own place far from us out of state, and I was able to enjoy some nature time with my son. We went fishing. Yep, that's what boys and dads are supposed to do, right? Bless his heart, but my son has no patience for fishing. I guess in this fast paced world of kid things, like video games, electronics, electric scooters and the like, there is little time for kids to actually learn patience, let alone enjoy it. I have been working with him the past couple of years on patience. We are making progress. Now there is one more component that fishing involves that my son has a problem with. Worms!!! I was shocked too! He is a boy for goodness sake and should be eating worms, stuffing them in his pockets and throwing them at girls! Not my boy. Seeing them is fine, but get them any closer than 3 feet from him and his little growing feet start to running. It would be funnier, I guess, if I wasn't the one trying to GET him to actually fish.  

Neither of us caught any fish and never really had our lines in the water long enough to try. We ended up having more of a Dad/Son conversation than actually fishing and to be honest, I am glad. There will be many more years ahead to conquer fish phobias and catch fish. Open lines of communication? Now that is something to be proud of. 

On Tuesday, an opportunity came about to help a friend with some work on her farm. The task at hand was to deconstruct some cages that were not meant to be taken apart and rework them into more functional pens. I worked like a dog, smelled like a pack mule by midday but only got a portion of the cages apart. I tell my son all of the time to not get distracted from his task he is working on. I realize now that I may need to learn that lesson more myself. Being an animal love at heart, my excuse was that I had to socialize and therapeutically spend time with all of the critters at the farm.  Of all the different animals on this little farm, the rabbits, pig, chickens, geese, pigeons, roosters, guinea pigs, and ones I am forgetting about, on this particular trip I bonded most with the new pig, Happy. 

While I worked on the cages, Happy was behind me about 10 feet away in his cage slopping up his corn like a kid devouring ice cream. His slurping, chomping and grunting made me smile. I would say to him, " Happy, you sure sound happy over there." Or, " That sounds so good I hope you save me some!"  With each comment to him, he seemed to respond more vocally. When I would look up from my work and glance over at him, his tail would just wag and wiggle with joy as if he knew I was looking. As I kept working, the rabbits in their pens all above and around me made little cute snuffling noises. The chickens puttering about didn't dare come to close but were definitely curious as to what I was doing and why. Okay, like I mentioned earlier about not being distracted, well I guess the difference between me and my son is that I choose to be distracted. Does that make any sense at all to you? Let me elaborate on that a second. I can choose to totally block things out like noises, sights, smells etc. but I can also choose to let them into my brain and my senses. Well, as I took a few breaks ( chose to be distracted ) I wandered around the farm loving on the animals. I honked with the geese, cooed with the pigeons, clucked with the chickens, grunted with the pig and even rubbed his belly. He loved that. 

All in all it was an exhaustively awesome few hours. It is always a wonderful feeling to be able to help out a friend or even a stranger that has a need. I will be going back very soon to help finish the chore and as I do, I am most certain I will once again be distracted by the sheer uniqueness of each animal. Of all the rabbits on the farm, the ones for show and competition, the others for meat and still the others raised for pets, I gravitated to one that had not been the best breeder or had been the most successful mother. She was so sweet. I held her for only a few minutes but we connected. I'm sure of it! Her rust colored fur was so soft and her big ole feet were nice and cool resting on my arm. I hope to see her again soon. I named her Rusty.

As my time ended for the day all covered in sweat, dirt and grime, I made my rounds one more time around the farm. Before I left my friend gave me an abbreviated course in how to show rabbits. I had no clue what judges look for or what breeders look for in choosing which rabbit to show or further breed with which others. It is fascinating. I came home with a wealth of knowledge that the average person or even pet store employee may never have a clue about. I am anxious to learn more the next time I go work at the farm. After having been down and out and occupied with company, I really enjoyed this morning at the farm. I knew I needed some fresh air but I had no clue that my breath of fresh air would be so fruitful with the scent of animals in it. Usually the beach is my get away, outdoor, passion spot. I think now that I will be making a point to make more visits to see all of these critters and also spend more time with my buddy's horses. It is such a blessing to have these outlets in my life. Although I was there to help out someone else, I believe am the one who was helped the most.